


Gamma Draconis

by WickedlyAwesomeMe



Series: Across the Universe [3]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angsty Draco Malfoy, F/M, Female Merlin, Minor Triggers, Redeemed Draco Malfoy, Time Travel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-15
Updated: 2017-10-20
Packaged: 2019-01-17 13:36:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 34,997
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12366882
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WickedlyAwesomeMe/pseuds/WickedlyAwesomeMe
Summary: "In my constellation,  you are the brightest star."Draco Malfoy found salvation in the most unlikely place.





	1. Spring

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Merlin meets the mysterious Draco Malfoy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is Part 3 of the Across the Universe Series but it is not connected in anyway to "A Place to Belong" and "A Place to Stay". This is simply just another crossover :)
> 
> Also I seriously believe there should be more Merlin/Draco Malfoy fics because one is a Dragonlord and the other a Dragon. I mean COME ON.

* * *

 

Merlin shielded her eyes as she looked up at the sky, a wide smile seen on her pretty face.

Surprisingly, King Arthur was strangely in a good mood today, therefore giving her the much needed break she had always craved. _‘Thank you, Guinevere,’_ she thought, absentmindedly swinging her basket as she meandered through the flower-filled meadow. Perhaps, marrying Gwen really brought wonders to the clotpole’s mood. His spirit was always through the roof, and Merlin could not help but be infected by her friends’ happiness.

Arthur had been through a lot this past few years. He deserved to at least have some semblance of happiness, especially with the person he loved the most.

Now, left with nothing to do, Merlin decided to have some time for herself. The great meadow at the outskirts of Camelot beckoned her for a visit, and with a brief farewell to Gaius, she now bounded out from the castle and into this vast meadow.

This place reminded her so much of Ealdor, her heart ached a little as she remembered her home. Hunith was growing old now, and Merlin worry for her always. But her mother, her brave, strong mother, always reassured her that she could take care of herself and that Merlin must only worry for Arthur, and him alone.

A soft sigh escaped from her lips as she unceremoniously plopped down on the lush field. Now that Arthur is King, Merlin knew he was bound to face more challenges in the future. Thinking about her past adventures with the Once and Future Clotpole, Merlin could not help but scowl as thoughts of possible mishaps were bound to befall Arthur Pendragon.

“I hate my life,” she murmured, finally lying down on the ground. Sunlight bathed her face and Merlin once again smiled. Springtime was always a wonderful time of the year, and Merlin momentarily forgot about her stupid king and their stupid destinies.

While she was slowly drifting into a lazy nap, a sudden shout from the nearby forest shook her awake. Sitting up abruptly, Merlin narrowed her eyes and looked around, wondering if she merely imagined the sound. But then, a string of colorful words she had never heard before filled the quiet field and she was intrigued.

The young sorceress slowly stood up from the ground and approached the direction of the sound. Judging from the timbre of the voice, the source was possibly a young male. Suddenly feeling vigilant and wary, Merlin summoned her magic from the inner core of her being in case she needed a release to protect herself.

His voice grew louder this time, and Merlin could already make out luscious blond hair on the man that was so much paler than Arthur’s golden ones. Her eyes narrowed in alarm as she tried to quietly approach the panicking blond. But then again, Merlin would not be Merlin without her clumsiness. She almost laughed out loud when she stepped onto an unsuspecting twig and snapped it loudly into two.

The stranger’s reaction was instant, for he swiveled around and pulled out an odd stick from his sleeve with frightening speed.

Now that he was fully facing her, Merlin’s eyes widened a little at his appearance. The first thing she noticed was his strange garb. She was so used in seeing men in their breeches and tunics and armors, the man almost looked naked with only a thin, long-sleeved shirt and strange, black trousers.

Her blue eyes met his silver ones and Merlin frowned. He looked too sallow for her own liking, dark bags staining his seemingly smooth, pale face. The sorceress thought he would actually be kind of handsome, if only that haunted look did not paint his face.

“Who are you?” he demanded, lifting his slightly pointy chin in the air.

Merlin raised an eyebrow. He exuded such arrogance he almost resembled Arthur. She made a great show of rolling her eyes and frowned. _‘Great,’_ she thought. _‘A possible clotpole.’_

“Oh, I’m just a maidservant working in the castle,” she told him reassuringly when he still waited for her answer.

His arm, the one holding the strange stick, faltered a bit. “Maidservant?” he asked, now mirroring her frown. “What, are you living in some castle?”

She did not understand the mocking tone he used. “Well, so what if I am?” she claimed back in slight annoyance. As minutes passed by, he was starting to become the prat she guessed him to be. _‘Clotpole,’_ she hissed, crossing her arms defensively against her chest.

His grip on the stick tightened and he now pointed it squarely to her face. “Where am I?” he harshly barked, silver eyes hardening into an unreadable look.

Her magic tingled in alarm at his change of stance. Merlin had this inkling he could hurt her if the situation called for it. “You are in the outskirts of Camelot,” she slowly said, watching his expression carefully. To her surprise, his face drew into a blank.

“Camelot?” he asked, almost breathlessly. His eyes never left hers. “Who’s the current king?”

“Arthur,” she answered without skipping a beat. He sucked in a shuddering breath of surprise. “In fact, I am his maidservant.”

He gave her a strange look, his outstretched hand now trembling as he placed it back at his side. Her eyebrows knitted in confusion at his change of attitude. Warily, she watched as he took a few cautious step forward.

“Can you bring me to the castle?” he suddenly asked, his voice strangely tight. “I… I have nowhere to go.”

Her mother always told her to never talk to strangers because she could never know their true intentions. Merlin contemplated for a while as she thoughtfully stared at the stranger, trying to gauge what his intentions were. Her magic was still going haywire inside her body she swore her fingertips were already crackling with power.

Finally, she wordlessly nodded her head and turned around. The man fell into step behind her and did not say a word all throughout their journey.

Looking at the vast meadow, Merlin frowned. She promised herself she would visit this place soon.

* * *

His name was Draco Malfoy and he was from the future.

His last revelation came as a shock for both her and Gaius, as she decided to bring the stranger into the Court Physician’s room. Since he said he had nowhere else to go, Merlin instantly thought of Gaius. He would know what to do.

But then, when Draco Malfoy revealed he was a time traveler, even Gaius did not know what to do with him.

“I can… I can research on how to send you back home,” the old physician kindly offered. “I have seen all kinds of magic, but never time travelling. I ask you to be patient while I researched.”

He merely nodded his head in reply. Merlin wondered if he really wanted to go home in the first place.

Another intriguing thing about the man was the fact that he was also a _sorcerer._ The stick he held on tightly apparently was his wand, which piqued Merlin’s interest. She heard from before that rarely do sorcerers prefer a vessel, such as a stick or a staff, to channel their magic into. Merlin made a mental note to inquire him about his wand in the future. 

Gaius warned him that his magic must be hidden, for Camelot was ruthless to the likes of him. Merlin, with a tight lip, knew she could attest to that.

“I’m sorry,” Draco then said, his emotions masked into a blank face once more. Merlin felt a little irritated just staring at it. “I never asked for your names when you graciously offered me some help.”

“I’m Gaius, the Court Physician of this kingdom,” her mentor answered with a kind, withered smile. He then gestured at the silent maidservant and continued, “and that is Merlin, my ward and maidservant to the king.”

She was surprised that his mask of indifference completely broke as he stared incredulously at her. Merlin felt a little bothered by his gaze, feeling her cheeks already coloring in embarrassment. She did not understand why he was looking at her like that.

“M- _Merlin_?” he asked breathlessly, his gaze never leaving her face.

Merlin looked at Gaius in alarm, but the old man merely looked at them in curiosity.

“Um, yes?” she said, tucking a stray curl behind her large ear.

“ _Blimey_ ,” he sputtered, a wide, disarming grin now stretched widely on his handsome face. Merlin was surprised with the expression on his face, for he had been brooding and silent ever since she found him in the forest. “I-I can’t believe it. The _great_ Merlin in the flesh!”

Gaius laughed heartily. “Oh, trust me, lad, if there is a word to describe her, ‘great’ will not be the first one to come into mind,” he cajoled, prompting her to glare at him. Gaius merely gave her a fond smile, and Merlin rolled her eyes, biting her cheek to stop herself from smiling. After all, the Court Physician was right.

“But… but you’re a _girl_ ,” Draco pointed out.

She scowled. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“No offense, but I actually expected a beard,” he confessed, his eyes twinkling in humor.

“ _What?!_ ”

To her surprise, he started to laugh. “Look,” he started, trying to appease the infuriated sorceress with a winning smile, “as a wizard, I grew up in a world idolizing Merlin, the greatest wizard to ever grace this world.”

Both Gaius and Merlin froze at his claim. Merlin fearfully looked at Gaius as the Court Physician took a step forward and tried to shield her from the blond.

“How did you know that?” she calmly asked, although her heart was beating wildly inside her chest. No one knew of her power, except from Gaius, her mother, and Lancelot.

“Merlin,” Gaius warned, throwing her a glare, but she merely shook her head.

Draco’s face cleared with understanding. “It’s not like I’m going to tell,” he snapped, suddenly feeling annoyed. Merlin mirrored his frown. “I told you, I’m from the _future_. The Great Merlin himself… well _herself_ here is the reason why Hogwarts and other wizarding schools are built to teach people like me.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, it’s all thanks to all-powerful you all witches and wizards alike are able to freely use their magic,” he explained, slight exasperation in his voice. “Well Muggles, non-magical people, still do not know we exist, mind you, but we are able to coexist peacefully by being indifferent from each other so I think that’s still good.”

Merlin, her eyes wide with shock, pushed Gaius aside as she took a few steps closer to Draco. “You mean to say,” she slowly started, “that… that magic can be used _freely_?”

He rolled his eyes. “I did not expect the Great Merlin to be deaf, too,” he mumbled, earning him a glare from her.

“Stop calling me that.”

“What?”

“ _That_ ,” she said through gritted teeth. “The ‘Great Merlin’.” She made air quotes, much to his amusement.

“Oh, but you are,” he said.

She frowned and crossed her arms, but did not reply.

“Anyway,” Gaius said, stepping forward. “Seeing that you have nowhere to go while I try to seek your means of going home, I think it is best if you stayed here.”

“But Gaius,” Merlin protested, turning to face her guardian.

He lifted his already perpetually lifted eyebrow. “You have other suggestions in mind, Merlin?”

Her answer was a mere pout, much to the amusement of the blond. She shot him a glare and looked away. Truth be told, she did not really like Draco Malfoy.

“You can pose as my nephew trying to help me in my practice,” Gaius continued. “Merlin here is a terrible assistant, so I think you can do.” Merlin immaturely stuck a tongue at Gaius’ direction, which he pointedly ignored. “How are your potion-making skills?”

Draco smirked. “The only best one in my year,” he arrogantly proclaimed. “Though Granger might disagree but really, everybody knows I’m the best.”

Merlin tried to stop her urge from rolling her eyes once more. Apparently, somebody finally rivalled King Arthur’s gigantic ego.

“Good,” the physician said, giving him a parchment of lists of ingredients he needed for his next potions. “Get me these and you can begin brewing.”

“I don’t receive orders from you, muggle,” he spat.

Merlin grew offended for her mentor, but Gaius merely raised an eyebrow. Draco grumbled and sighed, turning around as he now walked out of Gaius’ bedchambers.

Once he was gone, Merlin looked at the Court Physician. “I don’t think this is a good idea, Gaius.”

“You have other suggestions, lass?”

She expelled a sigh through her nose. “He’s not trustworthy enough,” she said with a grimace. _‘Especially with that arrogant attitude.’_

“He needs help,” he simply said. “And, aren’t you known to be the champion of the lost and downtrodden?”

“Very funny,” she replied, plopping down on the bench. “I still don’t trust him.”

“Well, neither do I, but he _needs_ help,” he reiterated. Merlin opened her mouth to protest once more, but Gaius cut her off. “Aren’t you supposed to be polishing Arthur’s armor right now?”

Her eyes widened in remembrance. “Oh blast,” she said, dashing out of the room without a glance back, thoughts of Draco Malfoy now pushed at the farthest corner in her mind.

* * *

“How can you do magic?”

When he lifted a blond eyebrow at her question, Merlin blushed. She silently cursed her burning curiosity while she watched him absentmindedly twirl his wand.

“Well, how do you do _yours_?” he shot back, prompting her to frown.

“Never mind.”

He gave her a lazy shrug and went back to gazing outside the large window in Gaius’ room.

Merlin sighed and shook her head, once again trying to return to scrubbing Gaius’ pots and cauldrons. But then, her eyes would always stray back to the strange blond, and she would once again be consumed with millions of unanswered questions.

A week already passed since Draco arrived and he was still as enigmatic as ever. True to his word, Gaius introduced him as his nephew to King Arthur, asking him if he could be an assistant to old, rickety him. Arthur did not seem to mind and thankfully did not ask too many questions.

Merlin tried to steer clear from him during his stay. He was an arrogant prat, just as much as Arthur, and she’d very much rather deal with only one. But then, of course, it proved to be such an impossible feat, especially because he seemed to spend as much of his time in Gaius’ bedchambers as he could. Merlin, having lesser chores too because Arthur and Gwen were still too busy with their marital bliss, found herself constantly accompanying Gaius, and ultimately the blond.

Gaius told her Draco never talked much. He was a brilliant potions-maker, that much they both knew, but he never shared his life from the future. Gaius never complained with his silence, perfectly content in having enough potions to last the kingdom for a year.

But Merlin, being Merlin, was too curious for her own liking. She had this inkling Draco knew of this and enjoyed her inner turmoil.

“My eyes turn golden,” she suddenly sputtered out, cheeks gradually turning red with embarrassment.

He looked back at her and lifted an eyebrow. “Excuse me?”

She grew redder and sighed exasperatedly. “When I do magic, my eyes turn golden,” she further explained. “I don’t use… you know,” – her eyes strayed at his wand – “I just mutter a spell and magic will be released from me.”

He was silent for a while. “Show me,” he said.

“I’d rather not,” she harrumphed.

A small smirk grew on his face. “I can show you how I do magic if you show me yours,” he suggested.

Blast him, he knew how to make the girl more curious. Frustrated, Merlin directed her blue eyes at the pots and cauldrons and muttered, “ _Béo áfeorme_ **[1]**.” As her eyes turned golden, Merlin watched the rag scrub the containers until they were spotless.

His eyes were alit as she looked back at him. Merlin felt a little flustered but did not look away. “Well?”

He thoughtfully tapped his wand against his thigh for a while before, with a small smile, pointed his wand in the air. “ _Expecto Patronum_ ,” he clearly said.

Merlin knitted her eyebrows, having not heard of that spell before, but her face froze as a great, silvery wolf appeared. It bounded around, curiously looking at the trinkets inside Gaius’ room, before stopping in front Merlin. The wolf silently looked at Merlin for a while, before nuzzling against her neck. Merlin shivered with the surprising sensation as Draco chuckled.

“He likes you.”

The wolf turned into mists as Merlin tried to touch him. Her big, round eyes stared back at the young wizard. “That was… that was beautiful,” she said breathlessly, standing up from her seat. “You must teach me.”

His eyes widened with her plea. “I… I’m not sure if I can,” he confessed, a little humbled by her request.

“What language do you use?” Merlin pressed further, ignoring his words.

He looked at her silently for a while. “Depends on the incantation,” he said. “You surely use Old English for your spells. The modern ones, the spells we use, have numerous influences from Latin to French to Asian languages. The common ones are usually from Latin. _Expecto Patronum_ roughly translates to ‘I await a protector’.”

She knew he was looking at her strangely, but Merlin was too delighted to care. Spell books were her constant teacher and for someone to actually share knowledge about the different spells and incantations made her extremely happy. “It protects you from…?”

“A dementor.”

“Which is?”

“You ask too many questions, Merlin,” he sighed, rolling his eyes.

“Well, pardon me for my curiosity.”

He quirked a smirk. “I can’t believe I’m giving lessons to the Great Merlin.”

“Don’t call me that,” she scowled.

He merely shrugged.

Merlin released a frustrated sigh and stood up. Seeing that the enchanted rug did all of her chores, Merlin was already done for the day. “Prat,” she muttered, turning around and marching towards the door. She heard him chuckle behind her back, infuriating her more.

* * *

“How were you able to travel back in time?” she asked him.

He grinned, but it did not reach his eyes. “Magic,” he replied.

Merlin frowned. “Gaius cannot help you go back if you don’t tell us how you got here in the first place,” she lectured.

Draco’s eyes dimmed, the strained smile still on his face. “I’m not really sure I’ll be welcomed back.”

She lifted an eyebrow. “What?”

“Never mind.”

* * *

“Merlin!”

The maidservant grinned, turning around as Sir Gwaine enveloped her into a bear hug. The burly knight gave her a slight squeeze, knocking some breath off of her, and she laughed.

“Gwaine, I can’t breathe!” she gasped, weakly pushing him away.

The knight laughed, his breath washing over her face. “You’re drunk,” she tutted, grimacing at the smell.

Sir Gwaine finally let go of her and gave her a playful wink. “Well, the lads thought we should finally let Malfoy have a taste of the taverns,” he offered.

Merlin frowned and took a peek behind Gwaine. Still afar, she could make out the bodies of Percival, Leon, Elyan, Lancelot and Draco himself. Clearly, they looked a little plastered, their voices too loud in the almost deserted streets. The maidservant rolled her eyes as Percival toppled over and landed squarely on his face. The others boisterously laughed at his misfortune, while Percival tried to lunge at Elyan who was laughing the loudest.

“What did Gaius tell you about staying away from taverns?” she admonished, crossing her arms across her chest.

“Oh, _mother_ , cheer up,” Gwaine said with a cheeky grin. “Arthur’s busy with his queen, so he does not really need any saving right now. I assure you that any shouts you hear from their bedroom would be purely from pleasure, really.”

Cheeks coloring, Merlin looked scandalized. “Gwaine!” she shrilly exclaimed.

“Prude,” he said with a wink.

The others finally caught up to Gwaine and all grinned as they saw Merlin. Even Draco gave her a cheeky wink and she, once more, rolled her eyes. “Boys,” she muttered, shaking her head in disapproval.

The time traveler surprising grew close to the Knights of the Round Table. Draco, not having anything to do with his time, stumbled upon the Training Grounds of the knights and struck an unlikely friendship with them.  Apparently, Draco knew how to hold a sword and had been sparring with the band during his free time.

 _“My father forces me to do swordsmanship lessons,”_ he explained to her one day. _“Let us just say I’ve been practicing ever since. It helps with wand wielding, actually.”_

“Why are you still roaming the streets at this time of the day, Merlin?” Lancelot, always the kinder one, asked with worry.

Merlin lifted her basketful of flowers and grinned. “I got a little carried away,” she merely answered.

Gwaine playfully swung an arm around her shoulder. “Well, I guess you can call yourself lucky for knights will escort you back to the castle, milady,” he said, a slight slur in his words.

“Lucky me,” she said with sigh, but unable to suppress a small smile. The boys, although rowdy, messy, and drunkards at times, had this soft spot in her heart. Camelot would be bleak if she were not friends with the Knights of the Round Table.

The journey back in the castle was a noisy one. One old lady even had to go out of her house to loudly reprimand the group. But the knights were too happy and Merlin really did not have the heart to scold them.

Merlin found herself at the back of the group, with Draco flanking her side. The blond had been awfully quiet now, and Merlin felt a little awkward. Questions still flitted her mind, but Draco seemed adamant to evade most of them. He was such an infuriating man.

“You have wonderful friends,” he suddenly pointed out, breaking the silence.

Merlin gave him a sideway glance. “They’re a nice lot,” she said with a smile. “Brave prats, really. But they’ll have your back even in the bleakest of times.” She paused for a moment, watching as Draco smiled at Gwaine and Elyan’s petty cajoling. “They think of you as a friend, too, you know.”

Pure surprise crossed his face as he looked back at her. “Really?”

He asked it with so much wonder it made her heart jump a bit. “Err, yes,” she hastily replied, thankful that the night sky masked her suddenly red cheeks. “They won’t invite you in the tavern if they don’t treat you as one.”

Draco fell silent, his face contemplative. “I’ve… I’ve never had friends,” he confessed.

“Oh?”

“Yeah.”

Merlin blinked, eyes fondly looking at the knights. “Well you got yourself a group,” she pointed out with smile. “Consider yourself lucky.”

Draco did not return her smile.

* * *

Merlin took a deep satisfied breath, her right hand shielding her face from the blinding sunlight.

She was in the meadow once more, running away from Arthur’s constant nagging for her to be at his beck and call. Thank the heavens above for Guinevere; Merlin could actually have some peace and quiet since Gwen could distract Arthur from his mindless bullying.

With her back on the ground, Merlin finally felt some semblance of peace. The past few weeks had been frustratingly uneventful and Merlin felt very uneasy. Camelot was always bursting with action and adventure, and to be thrown into a peaceful phase promised big, frightening events in the future. Moments like this in the meadow calmed her heart for a while, knowing that she should cherish her time of quiet as much as she could.

A sudden shadow loomed over her face and she frowned. Opening her eyes, she saw Draco’s unmistakable grey eyes and blond hair, looking down at her in amusement.

“Gaius said I might find you here,” he said.

She made an annoyed sound at the back of her throat but did not reply.

“King Arthur’s looking for you.”

“What’s new,” she grumbled, prompting him to smirk.

“You should really go back,” he pointed out.

Merlin closed her eyes once more. “In a minute,” she said, without any intention of standing up from her position. She was actually planning to take a nap before Draco came.

Silence followed and she thought he left. But then, when she felt his presence now lying down beside her, her eyes shot open and scowled at him. “What are you still doing here?” she asked.

“I need some rest,” he merely replied.

“Go away.”

He gave her an amused look. “Why?”

“This is my spot,” she said through gritted teeth. “Go away.”

“The meadow is vast,” he pointed out. “Learn to share.”

“I don’t want to.”

A good-natured laugh escaped from his lips and Merlin felt her heart skip a beat. “Great Merlin, selfish extraordinaire,” he declared.

“Can you please stop calling me that?” she asked, annoyed.

“I don’t want to,” he said, echoing her words with a wide smirk.

Merlin turned her head to glare at him. “Prat.”

They fell into silence once more, but now Merlin felt restless. She was hyperaware of the man lying next to her and she did not like it one bit. Draco Malfoy infuriated her so; he made her feel confusing things she had never felt before. All she wanted was some peace of mind, running here in this meadow to give her some break, but Draco Malfoy ruined it with that pointy, smirky face of his.

“Why are you annoyed of me?” he suddenly asked, surprising her.

Her cheeks colored. She did not know she was that obvious. “I don’t know,” she confessed. “You’re infuriating.”

He smiled at her confession. “I’ve been told I can be one if I wanted to,” he said, sounding as if she complimented him. “My schoolmates thought I was an arrogant sod, too, really.”

She was surprised he offered a small glimpse of his time, albeit a simple, useless one. “Well, they got that right,” Merlin replied. “You are one arrogant sod if you want to.”

“What can I say,” he said with a shrug. “I was raised to be one.”

A question sat at the tip of her tongue and Merlin didn’t know if she could risk asking him. He always got defensive and evasive every time Gaius and Merlin tried to pry answers from him. Gaius was still at a loss on how to help him because of his secrecy. Apparently, he needed to know how Draco got in this place to direct him in his research. Still, Draco was silent.

“Gaius said he knew of ‘Malfoys’ of nobility,” Merlin sputtered out before she could think about it. Cheeks reddening, she looked away from Draco and cursed her inability to hold her tongue. Her mother once told her she always talked mindlessly without thinking first.

Draco was silent, and Merlin wondered if she had offended him. The blond could be broody at times, and she wouldn’t be surprised if he’d shut himself off again.

 _‘I just wanted some peace and quiet,’_ she moaned internally.

“Yeah, they’re most likely my ancestors,” he coolly replied.

Merlin turned to face him in surprise. Draco did not seem to notice.

“My mother used to tell me how the Malfoys had some pivotal role during the Arthurian times,” he continued, his hand lazily grazing the grass. “They’re awfully proud about it, really, boasting how they evaded Uther’s ruthless purging of magical humans and beasts alike.”

“What?” she asked, amazed.

Draco smiled and looked at her. “My ancestors were a bitch,” he said. “Manipulating people for survival. Without them, I’m sure the Malfoy family would be history now.”

“So, in the future, are you still of noble blood?” Merlin carefully asked, wondering if Draco’s sudden openness would cease.

“You… can say that,” he said with a frown. “We’re regarded as Purebloods in our time, and I’m quite sure they’re equivalent with being noble ones.”

Merlin fell silent as she took in his words. She always suspected Draco was brought up in a well-off family. How he carried himself, his arrogance, his rich words… all of them screamed aristocracy and it was scary to think how Draco fitted more as a knight than the others she knew.

“Don’t you miss home?” she quietly asked. Cringing, she watched as he schooled his features and hid behind that indifferent mask of his once more.

“Well, I’m not sure they miss me,” he snarled in reply. Merlin flinched with the venom in his voice.

The young sorceress swallowed a lump in her throat. “What… what happened to you?” she whispered. “What happened to you back home?”

In times of quiet, Merlin had seen such vulnerable emotions in him. She once confided to Gaius about this, and the Court Physician, worried himself, reckoned that Draco had a rough time back home. The fact that he refused to divulge how he got here in the first place was already a testament to that.

“What’s it to you?” he harshly asked with a scowl. His grey eyes dangerously glinted and Merlin smothered a gasp. He could be quite frightening if he really needed to be. She felt her magic surging inside her, waiting to be released in case she needed to defend herself.

“We just wanted to help,” she slowly said. Merlin connected her eyes with his tumultuous ones. “ _I_ just want to help _you_.”

“I don’t need your help,” he snapped, already scrambling onto his feet.

Merlin sighed through her nose and also stood up from the ground. _‘So much for some peace and quiet,’_ she thought, berating her loose tongue.

She silently looked at him and felt her heart constricting. She had seen that face before. He beheld so much pain, raw guilt, and vulnerability and Merlin, for the life of her, wanted to help him. “Yes, you do,” she whispered, trying to reach out to touch him, but Draco flinched away.

“Well, I don’t deserve it, so stay the _fuck_ away,” he shouted, giving her the darkest glare he could muster, before turning around and stomping away.

Merlin was left dumbstruck, her eyes watching his retreating back. She only snapped off her stupor when Draco was nowhere to be seen.

She ran a trembling hand through her hair and tried to calm herself down. She had never seen Draco so angry before, and it caught her off guard. _‘Good job, self,’_ she thought, having this inkling that she had pushed him away once more when they were at least starting to become friends.

Sighing in defeat, she sadly looked at the blossoming flowers in the vast meadow. She envied their peacefulness and a small fraction in her, the part that loved to champion the sad and downtrodden, wanted to give some semblance of peace to the troubled blond.

* * *

“Arthur said you were busy with a boy,” Queen Guinevere pointed out with a wide grin.

Merlin frowned. “What?” she asked, knitting her eyebrows.

“Oh please, the knights were talking about it,” her friend replied with a sigh. “Don’t deny it.”

“I didn’t take you as a gossip, Gwen,” Merlin said, amused. “A crown changed you.”

Gwen blushed and glared.

The maidservant laughed and raised her arms in defense. “All right, all right, gods you don’t have to be so frightening about it,” Merlin said in amusement. Gwen was the kindest, purest, bravest soul she had never met but she could be a rightful witch when she was angry. Merlin never wanted to be the receiving end of one of her tempers. “But really, you heard wrong, your highness. I am not, and I quote, ‘busy with a boy’.”

The queen deflated, obvious disappointment in her eyes. “Gwaine said you’re always with this boy…” she thoughtfully said. “What was his name? It sounded awfully like dragons?”

“ _Draco_?!” she asked, eyes widening in surprise.

“Yes, that’s his name!” Gwen exclaimed. “A rather peculiar one, if you ask me.”

Unwittingly, Merlin blushed. Unfortunately, this did not escape Gwen’s notice.

“So there’s a boy!” she cried jovially.

“NO!” was her vehement reply. Upon Gwen’s raised eyebrow, Merlin rolled her eyes. “Okay, so there is a boy, but he’s Gaius’ nephew.”

 “And?”

 “And we’re just trying to help him,” Merlin interjected, a tad defensive. “He’s a little… _troubled_. He needs help.”

Gwen, ever the romantic one between the two, expelled a dreamy sigh. “I’m sure your help - ”

The maidservant groaned. “Oh, _Gwen_ ,” she cried in exasperation, “don’t even think about it.”

“What? I think it’s a little romantic. You, saving the troubled man. Although normally it’s the other way around, you and I both know you are more than capable of saving yourself.”

Merlin laughed in embarrassment, silently concurring with Gwen. With her vast and powerful magic, she did not need a knight to save her from the beasts. “Gwen, really, he’s just a… just a _friend_.” She almost made a face, not really sure if she considered him as such, much less if _he_ considered _her_ as one.

Gwen gave her a dubious look and shook her head. “Whatever you say, Merlin.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You can be really daft, you know.”

“What’s _that_ supposed to mean?” she repeated, a frown marring her pale face.

Gwen merely prettily smiled and shrugged. Merlin wanted to press on, but Arthur suddenly arrived.

“Oh good, you’re here,” Arthur said, removing his heavy chainmail and plopping them in Merlin’s already awaiting arms. “Clean this, and this.” He then proceeded to place his crusted sword on top. “I think I’ve killed too many games today.”

Merlin made a face, still not getting the logic behind hunting when all they did was kill innocent animals. “Clotpole,” she said through gritted teeth.

“What did you say?” Arthur snarled.

His maidservant made a great show of rolling her eyes. Behind him, Gwen smothered a laugh behind her hand. “Nothing, clotpole,” she said, this time a little louder.

“Why you – ”

Merlin grinned and immaturely stuck her tongue, dashing out of their bedchambers even before Arthur could throw a pillow to her. She could hear Arthur’s shouts of annoyance mixed with Gwen’s merry laughter and she grinned.

* * *

Merlin glared at the setting sun, her body already sweltering with heat. Spring was coming to an end and summer was arriving.

She hated summer.

Wiping sweat from her forehead, she trudged inside the castle. On her way to Gaius’ bedchambers, she greeted some of the knights and servants she came across to. It was more unbearably hot inside the castle, Merlin was forced the remove her neckerchief from her neck. Instead, she loosely tied it around her hair to keep them away from her sticky face.

Merlin planned to have a nap before she served dinner to the royal couple. She knew that Gaius was in the village, giving his last supplies of potions to the village infirmary and most likely tending to the ailments of the people. She hoped against hope that Draco would be away, too, giving her some peace she deserved.

Ever since their little fight in the meadows, Draco had been distant. He spent most of his times in the Training Grounds sparring against the other knights. If not in the Training Grounds, he would be staying with them in the taverns. Gaius had given him an earful most of the time for going home drunk, but Draco seemed not to care at all.

The young sorceress worried if their fight in the meadow suddenly triggered this drunken phase.

She worried for him more, especially since he seemed to be spiraling out of control. She voiced out her worry to the weary Gaius, but even the Court Physician, who seemed to know everything, did not know what to do. Draco was doing fine for months already, but stupid Merlin had to open her stupid mouth.

Sighing, she rubbed her temples and urged her feet to move faster.

She finally arrived and prayed to the gods above Draco would not be inside. But then, when did they ever listen to her? Merlin tried to not look at Draco as she stepped inside the Court Physician’s room. Her blue eyes betrayed her, for she looked at the blond, and froze on the spot.

Draco seemed startled with her arrival, a small vial clutched in his hand frozen in the air. Merlin’s jaw dropped, recognizing the vial as aconite. Her heart dropped to her feet as Draco snapped off his stupor and proceeded to lift the vial into his mouth.

Horror fueled her to stretch out her hands and blast him away. She flinched, hearing a sickening crunch as his back collided with her bedroom door, and Draco slid down on the floor.

Terrified tears blurred her vision, but she took a shuddering sigh of relief upon recognizing the spilled contents of aconite on the floor.

“Draco…” she called out, cautiously walking towards the blond.

He lifted his face and looked squarely at her. Merlin took a sharp intake of breath, noting the blood dribbling down from the corner of his mouth. But what surprised her more were the anguished tears in his eyes.

More tears escaped from her eyes and she tried to reach out to him. Draco flinched and looked away from her, clear shame now etched on his face.

“What were you thinking?” she croaked. She wanted to reprimand him, to call him an idiot for even attempting to do that, but she could not bring herself to. There was something in his tumultuous grey eyes that tugged the very strings in her heart.

“I want to die,” he whispered, voice void of emotion. His eyes betrayed him, though, for they glistened in the room and Merlin did not know what to do.

Swallowing a lump in her throat, Merlin crouched down in front of him. “Y-you can’t,” she said, almost vehemently.

“Why not?”

“You don’t deserve to.”

A shaky laugh escaped from his bloodied lips. “I do, too,” he wryly replied. “You… you have no idea what I did, Merlin. You wouldn’t _understand_.”

“Then let me,” she begged. “Let me understand, Draco. You _need_ help.”

“Nobody can help me.”

“I can,” she proclaimed with so much conviction. He gazed at her warily and she slightly deflated. “I’ll try. I want to.”

 Gingerly, she placed her hand against his cheek and wiped a teardrop away. For some strange reason, this gesture increased his tears.

“I had no choice,” he whispered, and Merlin did not understand. “They made me do it.”

Merlin did not ask any more questions, wordlessly healing his wounds as the man earnestly cried.

Minutes passed, his throat was raw and his eyes were dry. His face was still swollen from all the tears he expelled, but Merlin stayed by his side. She was silent throughout this whole ordeal, offering her presence as a way to comfort him. She did not know what to do, and staying was the only thing she could think of.

“I… I tried to, you know,” he suddenly said, surprising her. She directed her questioning gaze at his direction and he sighed. “I tried to _off_ myself back home by drinking unnamed potions.” He ran a tired hand against his face. “I thought… I thought I finally did it when I found myself in that vast meadow with those pretty flowers and towering trees.”

He offered her a small smile and continued, “But then you came, proclaimed I was in Camelot with Arthur as king and I thought I might have drank some time travelling potion in the process.”

“Oh,” was her mere reply. She now understood why he was evasive every time they asked him how he travelled back in time.

Minutes ticked by in continued silence. Merlin watched Draco at the corner of her eyes, and was relieved when he seemed to finally calm down. That broken look in his eyes was gone, replaced by exhaustion that seemed to envelop his whole body.

Gaius soon came and he stared at the mess in shock. “What in the blazes happened here?” he demanded, his eyes almost bulging from his socket as he looked at the broken vial of aconite.

Merlin sadly shook her head at the Court Physician while Draco turned to an embarrassed shade of red.

The old man’s eyes widened with understanding, until they softened and gently looked at Draco. Wordlessly, he cleaned up the mess they made, while Merlin and Draco looked at him through heavy-lidded eyes.

“I will prepare some supper,” he declared with a smile, now moving towards his small kitchen.

“Thank you, Gaius,” Merlin replied. “I have to run some more errands, though, but I’ll be quick.”

Gaius already disappeared in the kitchen and Merlin stood up. “Will you be okay?” she asked, worried. At least, Gaius was already here while she was gone.

Draco merely nodded his head.

Satisfied with his answer, Merlin made a move to walk towards the door. But then, a warm, big hand enclosed her small, calloused one. She stared down at Draco in shock, her cheeks already tinted with embarrassed redness.

“I… I um,” he sputtered, his cheeks matching her own. His grey eyes, now a calming sea of silver, connected with hers. “Thank you, Merlin.”

Emotions erupted in her chest and she wanted to cry for this poor boy on the ground. Merlin still had no idea what had happened to him, but she knew… she _believed_ they were too much to break this beautiful, brilliant boy.

Not trusting herself to speak, she merely squeezed his hand and gave a nod.

Draco seemed satisfied with her reply for he gave her a brilliant smile.

 _‘That’s better,’_ she thought, silently vowing to help him in whatever ways she could.

* * *

 

**[1] _Béo áfeorme_ – Be clean **


	2. Summer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Merlin was starting to have gists of Draco's mysterious world.

“Gods, I hate summer.”

The knights who heard her rumbled in laughter and Merlin frowned. 

“We can always take a nice, cold dip in the lake together…” Gwaine suggested, throwing a flirtatious wink her way.

Wrinkling her nose in disgust, Merlin replied, “Pervert.”

“My lady,” he said, giving a playful bow.

Merlin sighed and walked as far away from Gwaine as possible. “He really likes you, you know,” Draco said in amusement when she finally stepped in place beside him. “Give the lad a break.”

“He’s not my type,” she said, cheeks tainted red with his claim. “Gwaine’s a… _friend_. I can’t see him as anything but.”

“Hmm.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” She was scowling now.

Draco laughed. “You can think of anything you want, Great Merlin,” he shot back, mimicking Gwaine as he threw a playful wink her way.

Groaning, Merlin weakly pushed him away as Draco released chuckles. She shook her head and bit the insides of her cheeks, trying not to smile at the easy grin on his face.

As the season changed, so did Draco Malfoy’s mood. Their little interaction back in Gaius’ room still hung heavily between them at times, successfully making some of their silent moments unbearably awkward. But, surrounded with friends like now, Draco somehow looked better. He _sounded_ better, especially when he would easily laugh at the knights throwing a joke or two.

She had never seen him so relaxed before and Merlin took it as a good sign.

Now, the small, merry band were meandering through the forest. King Arthur was away for a peace treaty in Essetir and Merlin wanted to come. Ealdor was in that kingdom and she had not seen her mother for a while. But Arthur requested for her to stay, especially to take care of a now pregnant Gwen. Merlin, of course, knew that she was a maidservant to the king first and foremost. With a heavy heart, she agreed, hoping that she would be able to see her mother soon.

With the proud lion away, his cubs wanted to play. The Knights of the Round Table invited Draco for a little hunting session, and Merlin surprised herself by inviting herself in. They were quite surprised with her, especially because she had been quite vocal about her adamant disgust of the sport.

 _“Somebody needs to look after you lot,”_ she replied defensively, and thankfully, they did not stop her from coming.

Merlin steadily grew bored as the knights scattered about, excitedly chasing after a game they saw in the woods. “I’ll be right here,” she said, silently thanking herself for bringing a blanket and a book to keep herself busy.

“You’re such a girl sometimes, Merlin,” Leon teased, playfully ruffling her hair.

“Hey!” she exclaimed, but they all merrily laughed and left the poor maidservant alone.

With finally some peace and quiet, Merlin placed the blanket on the floor and sat down. She grinned at her magical book, congratulating herself by making it seem like an ordinary, trashy romance book to the prying eyes. She was seriously foregoing her studying on magic and spells. If she were to save Arthur’s arse in the future, she had to be ready.

“‘ _The Dragon Tamer’?_ Really?”

A hand flew to her heart as she swiveled around, only to come face-to-face with a highly amused Draco.

“What are you doing here?” she asked, annoyed she would not be able to achieve her peace and quiet.

The blond shrugged and plopped down beside her on the blanket. “I realized I'm not really fond of hunting,” he stated, ignoring the daggers she threw towards him.

“Go find your own spot,” she snapped. “This is my blanket.”

He softly chuckled and shook his head. “Of course, Great Merlin, the Selfish Extraordinaire,” he said.

“I swear, if you don’t stop pestering me, I’ll blast you off to oblivion!” she exclaimed. “I mean it!”

The amusement never left his face, but he threw his hands up in defeat. “All right, all right, Sweet Salazar.”

Merlin harrumphed and went back to reading her book.

“I know you’re such a prude, and I didn’t take you as a trashy romance book type of girl,” Draco said after a while. Unwittingly, Merlin blushed scarlet. “ _‘The Dragon Tamer’_ already sends off too much innuendos and well” – he cheekily gestured at the bewitched cover – “I thought you wouldn’t allow yourself to be caught reading a book with a cover like _that_.”

The young sorceress’ eyes widened, forgetting that little fact. Her magic was still rusty and she just wanted to make the cover look as far from being a clearly magical one as possible. She didn’t know her magic would conjure such a scandalous book, with an almost naked woman clinging to an almost naked man. If Hunith saw her holding one, she would never hear the end of it.

“It’s not… it’s _not_ what you think,” she murmured, embarrassed when he merely raised an eyebrow. Sighing, she thrusted the book into his direction.

Wordlessly, his eyes skimmed a page. “Oh,” he said, eyes widening as he looked back at her. “A spell book?”

“I didn’t want to get too suspicious,” was her merely reply.

“Clever girl,” he complimented, prompting to make her cheeks redder. “Although, it would be better if your disguise did not include a couple about to fornicate.”

She blushed scarlet at that. “My magic was rusty!” she defended, snatching harshly the book back to herself.

His chest rumbled with silent laughter. He looked around, making sure that they were the only ones in the place, before pulling out his wand from his right sleeve.

“What are you – ”

“Shh,” Draco said with a grin. He then proceeded to tap the tip of his wand on the book thrice, before saying, “ _Mutatio._ ”

The tasteless book cover changed before her eyes, and Merlin was amazed. She peered at the title, a boring book about chores and knitting, and she grinned. “That’s better,” Draco declared, smirking smugly at the awed look on her face.

Merlin rolled her eyes, but could not help the disbelieving smile on her face.

They fell into a surprisingly comfortable silence. Merlin continued to peruse her book while Draco absentmindedly twirled his wand beside her, seemingly lost in thought.

“Draco?”

“Yeah?”

“Have you tried conjuring magic without a wand?”

Her question piqued his interest for he stopped what he was doing and turned to look at her. Merlin had been itching to ask this question for weeks, wondering if he could be just like her, conjuring things out of the air, without using a magical stick to aide him.

“I’ve… never tried it before,” he admitted, concealing his wand once more up his sleeve. He was contemplative for a while, before turning to Merlin with a determined look on his face. “How do you do it?”

“Do what?”

“Your magic,” he said. “Back in Hogwarts” – he paused when she snorted in an unlady-like manner. “What?”

“Hog-what?”

“Hogwarts,” he said, bringing a round of giggles from her mouth. Draco matched her chuckles with his own. “Yeah, I know, ridiculous name for such a prestigious school. But mind you, my alma mater produces powerful witches and wizards yearly, and that is no laughing matter.” He shot a look at Merlin and grinned. “History books claimed you even attended Hogwarts, and you were sorted in Slytherin.”

Her eyes widened at his revelation. “ _What_?” she asked, all breath knocked out from her chest. If she had heard about this magical school before, she would have packed her bags and left Camelot without a single glance back.

“Yeah, apparently history can be erroneous,” he said whilst shaking his head. “For starters, they got your gender incorrectly.”

Merlin snorted. “I do wonder why,” she thought, although already having an inkling.

Draco pointedly stared at her. “Men have fragile egos, Great Merlin,” he said with a smirk. “I am sure wizards of old cannot accept the fact that the Legendary Merlin the prophecies and Old Religion spoke of is in fact a pretty lass.”

She blushed at his offhanded compliment, but he did not seem to notice. “So… what were you saying a while ago?” she asked, quickly changing the subject.

“Oh, right,” he said with an easy grin, “I said, back in Hogwarts, we were thought that wands are the extensions of wizards. Meaning, without one, we cannot really conjure magic and such.”

Merlin frowned. “Why is that?” she asked. “I mean, I can actually do it quite easily.”

“We draw magic from the very core of the earth,” Draco said. “It is a nasty little thing; quite unpredictable and hard to control. With wands, we can centralize our magic to produce more complex results.”

“Hmm,” Merlin said, thoughtfully looking at her hands. She looked back at Draco, the same thoughtful look still on her face. “Try it.”

“Try what?”

“Try conjuring magic without a wand,” she said, a determined look on her face.

Draco looked doubtful.

“Come on, it’s not hard,” she said, a cheeky smile on her face.

“I… I don’t know any spells you use,” he retorted, a frown now marring his face. “I doubt the spells we use in the modern era would have any effect at all. Besides, they were made with a _wand_.”

Merlin sighed through her nose and opened her palm. “Watch,” she said, concentrating her eyes on her palm. “ _Blóstmá_.” Her eyes flashed gold as a small, red flower appeared on her palm. She grinned at Draco’s awed expression. “Go on.”

Draco still looked doubtful but he opened his palm nonetheless. Shooting one last look at Merlin, he directed his eyes on his palm and said, “ _Blóstmá_.”

She could not keep the smile from growing on her face when she watched as Draco’s eyes turned golden. The same small, red flower sat atop his palm and Draco beamed.

“I did it!” he exclaimed with a laugh. “I actually did it.”

“Watch it,” Merlin said, matching his laughter. “Between you and me, I’m still the greatest.”

Draco, instead of being offended, laughed more heartily. “There’s no competition,” he said, shaking his head. “Trust me.”

Once again, she blushed prettily at his offhanded compliment.

He now absentmindedly twirled the flower in his hand, deep in thought.

“What are you thinking?”

Draco shot her a look. “I have a theory,” he said, “of how I can do wandless spells now and not back home.”

“Go on,” she urged him to explain.

He thoughtfully looked ahead. “Magic today is deeply ingrained to the very core of the earth through the Old Religion,” he started. “And well, somehow it _amplifies_ the magic through the wielder, making it easier to use. Back home, Old Religion is… well, _old_. It is a _dead_ religion so wizards and witches alike lost that strong connection with the source.”

“And?”

“And _wands_ are quasi-sentient things,” he continued. “They were made to _know_ and _feel_ what the wielder needs, drawing power from the core. So basically, you and the other magical being now have the Old Religion. We, back home, have wands.”

Merlin nodded her head, somehow getting what he was saying. “Try conjuring magic with your own spells,” she urged, feeling excited with the results.

Once again, Draco looked doubtful. “I’m not really sure…”

“Oh, come now - ”

“There you are!”

Both Merlin and Draco turned around to see the other knights approaching them. The maidservant paled upon seeing a dead deer carelessly slung over Percival’s shoulder. Draco shot an amused look at her reaction but she merely glared.

“We were looking everywhere for you, Draco,” Gwaine said with a frown.

The blond stood up and grinned. “Sorry, mate.”

Gwaine’s gaze landed on Merlin back to Draco briefly and deeply frowned. Draco shot a knowing look at Merlin, mouthing _‘I told you so’_ , and prompted to make the maidservant blush.

“The sun is about to set,” Leon, ever the leader, declared. “We should go back to the castle.”

“That’s a good idea,” Merlin said, making a show of sighing. “I want to go home.”

“Nobody asked you to come in the first place, pretty lass,” Gwaine said with a laugh. Merlin merely shook her head and stood up from her seat.

She then proceeded to fold the blanket and tucked the book inside her dress pocket.

“Merlin.”

She straightened up and questioningly looked at Draco. The other knights already started their trek back home but the blond stayed behind, waiting for her.

“Thank you, I had fun today,” he said, a disarming grin on his face. Merlin’s breath hitched and merely nodded her head in reply, not trusting herself to speak. “Let’s do this again.”

To her utmost surprise, he lifted his hand and tucked the conjured flower behind her right ear. “Come on now,” he beckoned as he turned around and trailed behind the knights.

Merlin watched his back for moments before lightly smacking her cheek to snap her back to reality.

She blamed summer for the sudden heat that flooded her body.

* * *

“Why do you always wear long sleeves?” she asked, frowning at his shirt. Merlin looked at the other knights and noted their bare forearms. “It’s awfully scorching.”

He did not look up from the potions book he was reading. “Why are you always asking questions,” he retorted. “It’s awfully annoying.”

“Prat.”

He grinned. “I know.”

* * *

“Tell me more about this Hogwarts,” Merlin demanded, watching Draco with heavy-lidded eyes as he brewed another potion for Gaius. The said Court Physician was quietly reading on his usual chair, but upon hearing Merlin’s request, he seemed to abandon his book and directed his full attention to Draco.

The blond, weary from his work, expelled an exasperated sigh. “I’ll bore you with the history,” he said, quirking a smirk at her frown.

“No, you won’t.”

“How do you know that?”

“Draco - ”

“I’m tired. Can’t we do this another time?"

“Just talk, Malfoy.”

He stopped his stirring and openly grinned at Merlin. She felt a little unconscious at his disarming gaze.

“What?”

Draco chuckled and abandoned the cauldron all together. “It’s been a while ever since someone called me that,” he confessed. Expelling a sigh, he plopped down on the bench. “What do you want to know?”

Merlin shot Gaius a questioning look, but he merely shrugged. “Anything will interest this old man, really,” the Court Physician replied.

She looked back at Draco and thoughtfully nibbled her lower lip. “Well… for starters, what’s a ‘Slytherin’?” she asked, hopefully getting an answer to the question that had nagged her for days.

A pale eyebrow lifted from his forehead. “You remember that?” he asked, surprised. She just shrugged, a sheepish smile on her face. “Well… Slytherin is a house in Hogwarts,” he started. “Long ago, in a time far, far away” – she rolled her eyes and he grinned – “there were four founders of Hogwarts. They were Godric Gryffindor, Salazar Slytherin, Rowena Ravenclaw, and Helga Hufflepuff.”

“They wanted wizards and witches alike to start learning about the foundations of magic, so that they could produce more complex, powerful spells in the future.” Draco absentmindedly fiddled with the ladle, a small smile on his face. “So they made Hogwarts, and divided the students into four houses under each of them.”

“What house were you in?” she inquired.

“Slytherin,” he said, puffing his chest in pride. “And a damn proud one.”

“How do they divide the students then?” Gaius asked.

Merlin’s eyes lit up, obviously curious about that stuff, too.

“Gryffindor made this Sorting Hat that will segregate the whole student body depending on the preferences of the founders. Gryffindor wanted the brave ones… _stupid_ ones, if you really ask me. Slytherin wanted the ambitious, cunning students. Ravenclaw welcomed those who had wit beyond measure. And Hufflepuff… I don’t really know what she wanted, to be honest.”

“What if a student wanted to be a Gryffindor instead of a Slytherin?” she inquired.

Draco looked at her incredulously. “Why would anyone _want_ to be a Gryffindor instead of a Slytherin?” he exclaimed, scandalized. “They are a bunch of wankers, really.”

“A wa- what?”

“Modern cuss, don’t mind me,” he grinned cheekily.

“Well, Slytherins sound like sad, boring lots,” Merlin pointed out, crinkling her nose with the description Draco said. She really did not liken herself as an ambitious type. She was contented on being Arthur’s shadow and only wanted the best for him. And cunning… _cunning_ sounded a little evil, honestly. She fancied herself into thinking she was more of a resourceful one.

Draco looked deeply affronted. “Hey, you were in Slytherin, too.”

Gaius shot her a questioning look and she shrugged. “Apparently, their history books claimed I studied in this place,” she said with a humored smile. “And I think I would better fit in Gryffindor, right Gaius?”

“Stupid, blind bravery suits you, Merlin,” the Court Physician concurred. 

“ _Exactly_.”

“No, no, you can’t be in Gryffindor,” Draco argued. “Anywhere but Gryffindor.”

“A stupid rivalry, I presume?” she offered, lifting an eyebrow.

Draco snarled. “You have no idea.”

“So in this school, you have subjects?” Gaius piped in, whilst Draco nodded his head. “Interesting.”

The blond returned his gaze back at Merlin. “I think those are really the only things I can tell you about Hogwarts,” he said. “I’d bore you to death, I swear.”

Merlin begged to disagree but bit her tongue. Instead, she asked, “So what was the state of your world before you travelled back here in Camelot?”

Draco easily answered her questions a while ago, so she gave this a shot. Perhaps, she would finally get a glimpse of what Draco had to go through to make him like… _this_.

Her question caught him off guard for he immediately schooled his emotions behind that indifferent mask of his. Merlin silently sighed in frustration. She hated it the most when he was like this.

“Never mind, it was a stupid ques - ”

“We were at war.”

 The silence that followed was deafening. 

* * *

“He came here accidentally through a time travelling potion,” Merlin told Gaius one night as the blond was off training with the other knights.

Gaius’ eyes widened in surprise. He had not been able to properly concoct a plan to send Draco home because the blond still had not revealed about how he got here in the first place. “How did you know that?”

A sheepish smile appeared on Merlin’s face. “He… err, told me.”

“Oh? Since when?”

“I’m not sure,” she confessed, guiltily looking at the floor. “About a month ago?”

Gaius arched an eyebrow. “And you’re only telling me now because…?”

“Gaius,” she wearily said, plopping down on the bench, “I don’t think Draco wants to go home.”

“Did he explicitly tell you that?”

“Well, no…”

“So we can’t assume anything unless he says so,” Gaius interjected, expelling a relieved sigh. Finally, he had a lead and all he could do was research on potions and probable spells that could counteract the effects of the potion he ingested. “Did he say what potion he drank? It would greatly help me if I knew the ingredients.”

Merlin fell silent, torn between telling him the truth and keeping Draco’s secret.

“Merlin?”

She swallowed a lump in her throat, eyes already shining as she looked at her mentor. “He… he tried to kill himself, Gaius,” she whispered.

All breath seemed to leave the old, weary man as he stared at Merlin with wide eyes.

“How did you…”

“Remember the day when you came back and your bedchamber was a mess?” she asked. She waited as Gaius nodded. “The spilt aconite… h-he tried to drink it, Gaius.”

If it was possible, his eyes widened more.

“He then told me how he was also trying to… you know,” she continued, worriedly looking at her clasped hands on the table. “He said he drank whatever potion he had, and apparently it contained a time travelling ingredient that brought him to Camelot. ”

Silence ensued and Merlin guiltily looked at Gaius. The betrayal of Draco’s trust was eating her heart out and although he never explicitly told her not to tell anyone, she knew she could not gallivant around and proclaim this. But then, she thought Gaius needed to know, especially if she was not around and Draco tried to have an attempt on his life once more.

“Did he say why he did it?”

Merlin shook her head. “No,” she replied. “But when he told us that his world was at war when he left, I figured it might have to do it with.”

“War affects people in different ways.”

“I worry about him, Gaius,” she tearfully confessed.

“All we can do is stay by his side, Merlin,” Gaius somberly replied. “That is all he needs.”

* * *

“Your name means ‘dragon’, right?”

“And?”

Merlin grinned. “I don’t know, it fits you.”

“Oh?” He shifted his head to look at her, eyebrows high in his forehead.

Merlin blushed and thanked the heaves above the night sky masked her embarrassment. “It’s a pretty name,” she interjected.

Draco guffawed. “I know I’m pretty,” he replied. “No need to be embarrassed about it, Merlin.”

“Prat.”

“You always say that when you don’t know what to say, you know,” he said, clear mirth still in his voice.

“ _Prat_.”

“See!” he exclaimed. “And I can’t see you clearly but I know you’re rolling your eyes right now.”

She caught herself, mid-roll, and actually laughed. “You’re impossible,” was her mere reply. It astonished her how well Draco knew her. 

They were once again in the meadows, only this time night had befallen. She and Draco were actually tasked to get ingredients for Gaius’ potion tonight, but they wanted a quick trip to this meadow. They got too carried away, apparently, and Gaius’ ingredients were forgotten. They did not really have the heart to return to Camelot and face the wrath of the Court Physician.

“Who named you?” she then asked after a few minutes of silence.

She saw the corners of his lips lift into a small smile. “My mother,” he replied.

“It really is a pretty name,” Merlin said, prompting him to laugh. “Where did she get that?”

“From a constellation. It’s tradition in the family.”

"A what?”

Draco shifted his head to look at her questioning gaze. “Isn’t astronomy existent during this time already?” he asked.

“Oh, a _constellation_ ,” she said with dawning realization. “You mean the patterns made by connecting stars in the sky.” When Draco nodded, she gave a shrug. “I was never really a fan. I read some books about it in Gaius’ small library but I quickly got bored of it.”

“Yeah, well, it wasn’t really my strongest subject, but I did pass,” he said with a smile. He fell silent for a while and Merlin watched him as he searched.

“There,” he said, pointing his finger. “That’s Draco. That’s the constellation I was named after.”

Merlin followed his finger as he traced a shape. Squinting her eyes, Merlin frowned. “It doesn’t look like a dragon to me,” she confessed.

“Use your imagination, Merlin,” he urged.

She continued to follow his finger as he traced the constellation once more. “I still don’t see it,” she grumbled.

Draco chuckled. “Astronomy isn’t for everyone,” he merely replied.

Merlin sighed and looked back at him. “The name really does suit you, you know,” she confessed once more.

He shifted his head so he was looking at her, too. “Why do you say that?” he asked, intrigued.

“I don’t know… dragons are _formidable_ ,” she said, words already tumbling down from her mouth.

He made a face. “I may be a lot of things, Merlin, but I don’t think I’m _formidable_.”

“Oh, I had my fair share of dragons,” she said with a smile, thinking about Kilgharrah. “I think you are.”

His eyes darkened and she sighed, knowing she said something bad once more. “No, I’m not,” he said through gritted teeth. “I’m a coward.”

Merlin didn’t reply because she did not have any idea what he had gone through. Perhaps, his wounds ran deeper than his skin and she wondered if they would ever heal at all.

Silently, she reached for his hand and held it.

Thankfully, he did not let go.

* * *

“ _Mer_ lin, you idiot!”

The maidservant flinched and sheepishly grinned at Arthur’s cup of overflowing wine.

“Apologies, my lord,” she said, hastily grabbing a rag and wiping the mess she made. Beside Arthur, Gwen was looking at her with amusement.

“Whatever got you distracted, Merlin?” the queen asked, highly intrigued.

An image of blond hair and grey eyes immediately entered her mind, prompting her to deeply blush. “Nothing,” she said, a little too quickly.

Gwen was dubious whilst Arthur sighed.

“I heard from the knights you are busy with a boy,” Arthur said, rolling his eyes. “Who could ever like you?”

 MMerlin snorted. Trust Arthur to be such a downer, especially to her.

“There’s no boy,” she said at the same time Gwen said, “His name is Draco.”

“Gwen!” Merlin exclaimed, cheeks already reddening in embarrassment.

“Gaius’ nephew?” he questioningly asked his wife. Gwen grinned and nodded. Arthur looked back at Merlin, a contemplative look on his face. “Good lad.”

The maidservant sighed through her nose. “He’s a good friend,” she said. Gwen opened her mouth, about to retort something back, but Merlin shot her down with a glare. “ _Just_ a friend.”

“Careful there, idiot,” Arthur said with a raised eyebrow. “She is now your queen. Disrespect her and you’ll find yourself in the stocks.”

Merlin rolled her eyes. Gwen wouldn’t allow that. “You got more intolerable when you got married,” she whined, prompting Queen Guinevere to laugh beside her husband. Arthur shot them a glare, but their smiles were not appeased.

“I heard from Leon he is a wonderful swordsman,” Arthur then said as they calmed down.

She remembered the day she watched him train. ‘Wonderful’ seemed an understatement for Draco’s skills.

“Do you think he will be a good knight?”

Merlin’s eyes widened at his question. “You’re thinking of knighting him?” she asked in disbelief.

Arthur merely shrugged. “Camelot needs formidable protectors,” he said. “I’ve long forgone the law of making merely nobles as knights, Merlin. I need to protect Camelot. If I see a good swordsman, then he can be an asset to this kingdom.”

His maidservant grinned. “He will be more than wonderful,” she said. “Trust me.”

* * *

“Have you ever been to war, Merlin?”

Her eyes widened at his sudden question. She was almost about to take a nap; lazy Sunday afternoons like today, especially during scorching days in the summer, made her lethargic. With Draco’s sudden question, however, Merlin felt her whole body fully awaken.

“Yes,” she carefully said, remembering all the times Camelot was invaded and she had to run around with Arthur, “I can say I have.”

Draco made a noise at the back of his throat and stayed silent. Merlin fully stood up from Gaius’ cot and sat down beside Draco on the bench. Her nose slightly wrinkled, recognizing the atrocious smell of an almost complete Sleeping Draught.

“Do you have nightmares about them?”

Merlin curiously peered at Draco, who was once again wearing that stoic mask of his. “Sometimes,” she said, absentmindedly drumming her fingers on the table. “Often, I awaken, and then I don’t dream anymore.”

“Do they ever stop?” he feebly asked, and Merlin could see vulnerability shining through a small crack in his mask.

“If you are strong enough, they will,” she said, this time not talking about herself anymore.

Draco wryly smiled, apparently knowing what she was doing. “I am not strong,” he whispered in reply.

Merlin could feel her heart going to the blond, and once more wondered what horrors he had to face to become like this today. “You are now,” she said, reaching out to grasp his warm hand. He made a move to protest, but she cut him off, “You will be.”

“Your optimism is astounding,” he said, a hint of cajoling in his voice. “I think _Hufflepuff_ will suit you.”

She grinned, watching as the mask fully crumbled down and was replaced by Draco’s small smile. “I’ll take that as a compliment,” she said.

Draco snorted. “You really shouldn’t,” he said. “Merlin knows what they do in their dormitories.” He paused at an eyebrow she raised. “Scratch that, _you_ wouldn’t know.”

“You use my name as an expression?” she accused, incredulous.

“Everybody does it,” he replied. “No need to get your knickers or whatever undergarment you’re wearing in a twist.”

Merlin darkly blushed. She forgot how Draco could be forward sometimes. She wondered how liberated people were in the future.

“Anyway, so I heard a rumor,” the blond said.

“About?”

“The king is planning to knight me.”

Merlin’s eyes bulged out from their sockets. “Gods, I didn’t know Arthur was serious!” she exclaimed.

Draco knitted his eyebrows. “You knew?” he asked with a frown.

“Well, he might have suggested it to me before, but I didn’t know he was serious,” she interjected.

The blond sighed and shook his head. “Stupid suggestion, if you ask me,” he claimed.

“Why is that? You’re good with a sword. I think you’ll be a wonderful knight.”

He gave her a strange look. “I’m not noble,” he shot back. “And chivalrous. And brave.”

She merely lifted an eyebrow. “And Arthur cares about those because…?”

“Isn’t there some Knight Code or something?” he asked with a frown. “Aren’t those the requirement to become one?”

Merlin released a good-natured laugh. “Do you honestly think that Arthur cares about those?” she asked, humored when his frown deepened. “Draco, his most trusted knights do not have nobility in their blood. And ooh, don’t get me started with Gwaine. Do you think he possesses those characteristics you just said?”

In spite of himself, he smiled. “Good point.”

“ _Marvelous_ point,” she corrected. “Arthur sees a potential in you. You’ll be a wonderful knight, Draco, trust me.” He gave her a pointed look and she smiled. “Hufflepuff, remember?”

Draco loudly sighed. “I don’t know,” he said. “I feel uneasy just thinking about it and besides… well, I don’t exactly belong here and I don’t really know what will happen in the future.”

Merlin’s smile faltered with his words. “Good point,” she echoed. “Well, has Arthur called for you already?” When he shook his head, she continued, “Then there’s no point in thinking about it right now.”

“I was invited for a practice training with the king tomorrow, though.”

“ _What_? Really?”

“Yeah.”

“Will you go?” she asked, carefully watching him.

Conflicting emotions crossed over Draco’s face, until weariness dominated.

“Yeah, maybe.”

* * *

 

“I hate summer,” Merlin grumbled, soon sighing in relief as her feet touched the cold waters of the Lake of Avalon.

“Why?” Draco asked, grinning as he stepped in beside her. “The sun is out; the sky is bright. Everything is _alive_.” He crouched down to dip his hands before looking up at Merlin. “I _love_ summer.”

He was already turning red from the heat and Merlin felt a little envious. He was as pale as snow, thus, it wasn’t a surprise he would merely turn pinker under the scorching sun. Merlin, however, with a slightly tanner skin, knew she did not have such luck. It was one more thing to hate about summer.

“Oh, come now, you look better with a smile,” he teased.

Merlin rolled her eyes, and the suddenly gasped, as cold water drenched the front of her chest and a part of her face. “You _prat_!” she cried shrilly, also bending down to splash water towards the blond.

Draco was ridiculously laughing so loud it was too infectious. The maidservant found herself matching his laughter, throwing more water here and there to try to drench him as much as she could.

"Hey, no cheating!” he cried, as Merlin’s eyes turned golden and a small tsunami from the lake fully drenched him from head to toe. Grey eyes dangerously flashing, Draco pulled out his wand from his right long sleeve, pointed it toward Merlin, and exclaimed, “ _Aqua Eructo_!”

A great jet of water, almost rivalling the conjured tsunami Merlin made, shot the sorceress straight into her chest. It promptly knocked her off from her feet. Her loud shriek drowned Draco’s laughter and she sank deep into the waters, gulping a mouthful of water in the process.

She was yanked up from the lake by the arm. Loud coughs wracked her body and Draco’s laughter died down a bit, now a sheepish smile on his face. “Shite, sorry, sorry, I got carried away,” he said, trying to appease the purple sorceress.

“Why, you - !”

With all her might, and maybe with the aid of a little magic, Merlin pushed Draco into the lake. He shouted as his feet gave away, sinking into the water and then resurfacing back. The blond was noisily coughing, but a wide smile was on his face. 

“I deserved that,” he said, grabbing Merlin’s offered arm. It was too late before she noticed the glint of mischief in his eyes. Merlin fell on her bum beside Draco and darkly glared at him.

“Very mature,” she grumbled.

“What can I say?” he said. “I _love_ summer.”

Merlin sighed and shook her head, now scrambling back onto the ground. Draco splashed his way back, that cheeky grin still on his face. Merlin tried with all her might to bite the insides of her cheeks to keep herself form smiling. She knew she was supposed to be grumpy with his antics, but gods, his smile was really infectious.

“Bollocks, I’m drenched to the bone,” she heard him say. Merlin turned around, about to reprimand him for being the reason why _they_ were drenched to the bone, but stopped herself as Draco lifted his tunic off his body to reveal a startlingly pale, toned chest.

She tried not to gawk. Honest to the heavens, she did. But by gods, he was a sight to behold. Merlin remembered the marble statues back in the castle and anyone who could see him right now could easily mistake him as one. Sure there were scars here and there, and a particularly nasty one near his collarbone – she wondered where he got that from – but _gods_.

“Like what you see?” he asked, voice thick with amusement.

Merlin turned into a deep maroon and cursed her wandering eyes. And his glorious chest.

“Really, Merlin, I know I’m a sight for sore eyes,” he added, complete with a wink. That didn’t help her redness at all. Warmth pooled even at the pit of her stomach and she tried to convince herself it was most likely due to the summer heat.

Draco good-naturedly laughed, wringing his shirt to get rid of the water. “Oh blast,” Merlin murmured, his biceps contracting from his action.

She willed herself to look away, she really did, but nasty her looked at every dip and corner of his bare chest and arms, and that was when she finally saw the black tattoo on his left, inner forearm.

“What is that?” she gasped, horrified by its image. It was a black skull, with a snake protruding from its mouth. She shivered in disgust at the sight. 

All the color drained from Draco as he froze, his eyes slowly travelling down to his tattoo. Panicked, he tried to put on his tunic once more but Merlin had grabbed his left arm determinedly.

She hissed, burned by the mark, and immediately let go of his arm. Eyes widened in fear, she flinched as the skull seemingly blinked at her direction.

The mark on his forearm screamed dark magic and Merlin felt coldness creep into her heart. She looked away, terrified at the feelings of evil and darkness that seeped into her.

To her surprise, Draco darted past her and that snapped her off from her stupor.

“Draco!” she cried, suddenly feeling guilty from the reaction she made. “I… I’m sorry.”

He completely stopped from his tracks and swiveled around. Merlin faltered at the murderous look on his face. “You don’t have to apologize,” he spat, furious. Perhaps with her, or maybe with himself, Merlin really did not know.

She swallowed a lump in her throat. “W-what is that?” she asked, eyes lingering on the now covered mark on his arm. He stiffened with her question but Merlin _needed_ to know.

Draco looked away, jaw clenching with so much emotions he was almost frightening. But Merlin was not afraid. If it brought out so much anger in him, so much _fear_ … maybe, _maybe_ this was connected to his turmoil.

“A mark of evil,” he spat, blazing eyes returning to gaze back at her. “A mark of my cowardice.”

“Draco…”

“I told you I am a coward,” he continued, voice now thick with an anguish that clenched her heart. “I am not good, Merlin.”

“That’s not true.”

He scoffed. “You don’t know me.”

“Draco,” she softly said, cautiously taking a few steps forward. “I know that you are not all bad.”

He shook his head, adamant. “You don’t know what I had to do in the war, Merlin,” he whispered, voice cracking with emotion. “You don’t know how much I…” He closed his eyes, that haunted look back on his face. “Those innocent people…”

When he opened his eyes, a tear slid down from his face.

“I killed people, Merlin,” he confessed. “Tell me, where is the good in that?”

* * *

Fall was making its way through the scorching summer and Merlin was finally relieved.

Sighing contently on the chair in Arthur’s bedchambers, Merlin leaned her head against the headrest and closed her eyes. She felt astoundingly tired, she hoped Gwen would forgive her for falling asleep in their weekly get together.

“Merlin,” Gwen called.

Merlin internally groaned, cracking an eye open as she looked at the worried queen. “Yes?” she asked.

“Is something the matter?” her friend asked, the worry not leaving her face.

“Whatever do you mean?” the maidservant asked with a frown.

Gwen intently looked at her, and Merlin knew she was debating whether to voice out the concerns plaguing her or let this issue go. The sorceress fervently hoped for the latter.

Queen Guinevere finally sighed and looked away. “Never mind,” she then said, greatly surprising Merlin. Gwen was known to be a stubborn one and she never backed out from interrogations like this.

Merlin smiled and slightly shook her head. She reckoned she looked horrible and Gwen did not have the heart to pry information from her. She willed herself not to think about her blond friend and sighed once more. _‘Too late,’_ she thought, the image of the dark tattoo visiting her.

“How is your pregnancy?” Merlin finally asked. She hid a smile as a sigh of relief escaped from Gwen.

“Gaius believes I’m past the dangerous phase,” Gwen said, hand magnetizing down to her now-showing stomach. “I’ll live.”

“Do you know the gender?” But Gwen merely shook her head. “Arthur will have a heart attack if the babe is a girl.”

A laugh escaped from the queen’s lips. “He will be a great father,” she beamed, cheeks flushing as she thought of her husband.

Merlin smiled at Gwen’s happy demeanor. Gwen had never looked so happy before; it made her heart soar, even for a bit.

“Merlin.”

“Yes?”

Gwen hesitated for a while, before saying, “Arthur really do wish to knight Draco, you know.”

Her eyes widened a little. “Why?”

“When Arthur sees great potential, you know what he does,” the queen said with a sigh. “He was impressed by his swordsmanship skills when they sparred.” Merlin smiled, remembering the story from Draco. “Draco had disarmed him and Arthur thinks highly of people who do that to him.”

“Arthur always wanted the best,” Merlin said, grinning. She looked at the queen to prove her point and Gwen blushed at the implication.

“Do you think Draco will accept Arthur’s offer?”

_“I am not good, Merlin.”_

“I don’t know,” she honestly replied. “Draco…” She lifted her eyes back at Gwen and sadly smiled. “He had been through a lot.”

“Poor lad,” Gwen sincerely said, laced with sadness.

_“I killed people, Merlin.”_

“Yeah.”

_“Tell me, where is the good in that?”_

Heart aching once more, Merlin blinked back her tears. She had not been able to talk to Draco ever since their spat, and the damned blond tried his very best to steer clear off of her. Gaius pointed out about their coldness one night, but Merlin merely shook her head, not knowing what to answer.

Was Draco mad at her? She sure _knew_ she was not mad at him. She felt a little hurt that he was avoiding her, but what was she to tell him when they talked once more?

“Oh Merlin.”

Gwen was instantly beside her, a hand brushing the tears in her eyes. Merlin did not even know she started to cry.

“What is wrong, love?” Gwen asked, but the sorceress merely shook her head.

“I don’t know.”

“Is it… is it about Draco?”

Merlin’s heart clenched at his name. Closing her eyes, she wryly smiled and croaked, “Yeah.”

“Is he all right?”

Merlin slowly opened her bright, wide eyes.

“No, I don’t think so.”


	3. Fall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Draco and Merlin continues to magic their way around their feelings.

“I’m sorry.”

He blinked for a while, silent. “Yeah, okay.”

“That’s it?”

He raised an eyebrow at her confusion. “You expect something more?”

Merlin expelled a sigh, a small smile on her face. “No, not really,” she slowly said. “I just… I thought you are mad.”

“I _am_ mad,” he shot back, but the disarming smile on his face spoke otherwise.

“But you forgive me?”

“Do I have a choice?”

“I don’t know.”

Draco chuckled. “We’re good, Merlin,” he assured. “No need to overthink.”

She blushed scarlet and looked at her tattered shoes. “I... umm... missed you.” She refused to look at his eyes, cheeks turning redder every silent minute that passed by.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

To her surprise, he laughed. Merlin, slightly offended by the sound coming from his mouth, lifted her head to give him a glare.

Grinning widely with cheeks slightly tainted with pink, Draco replied, “I missed you, too.”

* * *

“King Arthur already wants me to decide if I want to be a knight or not, Merlin.”

Eyes widening slightly, she turned to him. “Oh?” she said, absentmindedly grazing her hand along the grass in the vast meadow. “What did you say?”

Draco ran a frustrated hand through his hair. “I told him I still needed some time to think,” he said with a sigh. “The king looked a little disappointed, really, but he respected my decision.”

“Arthur always wanted the best,” Merlin said, echoing the words she once told to Queen Guinevere. “He’s royally spoilt, too, so forgive him for throwing a tantrum when he did not get want he wanted.” She paused for a while, eyes gazing heavenward. The moon was now slowly making its ascent into the pink sky. “Do you want to be a knight, Draco?”

He merely gave a shrug, but Merlin pointedly look at him. “I mean, it’s totally cool to become one,” he explained. “But… I’m not really knight material.”

“Draco, we’ve talked about this.”

“I know, I know,” he said, a tad exasperated. “It just… it feels _wrong_.”

“Well, I think you’d be a great knight,” she said with a wide grin.

Draco rolled his eyes. “You’re biased,” he pointed out. “You’re my friend. You are _obligated_ to always choose my side and cheer me on. Sickening Gryffindors, really.”

“I thought I was a Huffelpuff?” she interjected, mock confusion on her face.

The blond sighed. “You’ll never be a Slytherin,” he said, shaking his head.

“Thank heavens.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing, Draco,” Merlin sing-songed, now lying supine on the slightly wet grass. “Kidding aside, I really think you will be a wonderful knight.” She closed her eyes, imagining Draco in a heavy armor, wielding a sword and clanging it against an unseen enemy and she smiled. He looked handsome as a knight, she thought.

“I don’t know…”

She peeked at the troubled man. “When will the knighting happen, if ever you accept?”

“A fortnight from now, I think,” he replied.

“Hmm, you still have plenty of time to think then,” she said, patting on the spot beside her. “Stop being such a worrywart and enjoy the change of season.”

Draco made a huge show of rolling his eyes but obliged to her request nonetheless. He laid down beside Merlin and stared unseeingly ahead, already lost in his own thoughts.

Merlin contentedly smiled, happy as a cool breeze kissed her slightly flushed cheeks. Leaves of different colors now scattered around the vast meadow; trees almost barren from the fallen leaves. Gone was the scorching heat of summer, replaced by the cool breeze of fall and Merlin had never felt so relaxed her whole life. If every day could be like this, she would be very happy.

“I love the fall,” she exclaimed, the contented smile not leaving her smile.

“I’m sure you do,” Draco said, craning his neck to look at her relaxed form. “It’s not too cold, nor too hot. Everything is… _just right_.” He grinned at her and continued, “I do love fall, too.”

“I thought you love summer?”

He shrugged. “I love fall the best,” was his mere reply.

Peaceful silence surrounded the two as they watched the final rays of the sun disappear in the horizon. It was a full moon today, the stars surrounding it twinkling merrily down the two figures on the ground. Merlin could already spot the dragon constellation and smiled. Somehow, she was starting to slowly see why the stars connecting it resembled a dragon.

“Merlin.”

“Hmm?”

“I want to try something,” he said, sudden excitement in his tone.

Merlin quirked a curious eyebrow as he stood up from the ground and brushed off some grass and dirt from his bottom.

“Come on, stand up,” he said, already outstretching his right hand.

She gripped his big, warm hand and allowed him to pull her back on her feet. Merlin felt her cheeks redden when Draco squeezed her hand before retrieving his hand back. Merlin frowned at the sudden empty feeling her hand felt without his warmth.

“Remember the Patronus Charm?” When she looked at him blankly, Draco made a spiral motion with his arm and muttered, “ _Expecto Patronum._ ”

Her eyes lit up in familiarity. “Oh, yes,” she said, grinning in remembrance. “The ‘I await a protector’ charm.”

“Yes, yes, very good,” Draco said. “And I want to see your patronus.”

Merlin raised an eyebrow. “Is that possible?” she asked.

He shrugged. “I don’t know,” he replied. “Only great wizards and witches were able to produce one. The question is, how _great_ are you, oh mighty Merlin?”

“Is that a challenge?”

“Do you want it to be?”

Merlin raised her chin. “So be it, Malfoy,” she said, earning her another disarming smile of his. “What should I do then?”

“Well, in order to produce a corporeal Patronus – that is, it takes a form of an animal and the like – you have to conjure the happiest memory you ever had,” Draco explained. “We have wand movements when performing certain charms, such as a spiral motion for the Patronus Charm, but I’m not really sure if they’ll be useful without wielding a wand.”

“Okay, show your patronus to me again.”

Draco nodded and pulled out his wand. He took a deep breath, made a spiral motion with his wand tip, and exclaimed, “ _Expecto Patronum_!”

The silver, large wolf leaped out from his wand and bounded towards Merlin. With a shriek, she fell down on her bum as the wolf proceeded to nuzzle his nose against her neck. “Draco!” she exclaimed in between tortured laughter. “S-stop him. It… it _tickles_.”

Laughingly, Draco vanished the wolf. “I didn’t know Great Merlin is ticklish,” he said, earning him an eye roll from Merlin. He then helped her up to her feet.

“What was your happy thought?” Merlin asked, peering at him curiously.

Draco beamed. “It was a memory of the first time I stepped into the halls of Hogwarts,” he answered. “Best day of my life.”

“Hogwarts must really be wonderful.”

“Yeah,” he said, nodding his head. “Yeah it is. Now, come on, let’s see you try it.”

Merlin nodded her head and closed her eyes, trying to rack her brain for a happy memory. She thought about the first time she found out she was special, _magical_ , and Merlin grinned. _‘That’ll do,’_ she thought, opening her eyes as she outstretched her hand. Mimicking the spiral motion from Draco’s wand, she exclaimed, _“Expecto Patronum!_ ”

A silvery mist exploded out from her palm, but it failed to form a distinctive form like Draco’s. The mist soon vanished and Merlin frowned. “I can’t do it,” she said, disappointed.

“No, no, I think it’s a good start,” Draco reassured. “Most wizards in our time could not even produce an Incorporeal Patronus, must less a Corporeal one.”

“Try it once more,” he urged. “Think of a happier memory. The happier you are, the more distinctive the form of your Patronus is.”

“How will I know if it’s the right memory?” she inquired, suddenly feeling nervous. Draco looked so hopeful she did not want to disappoint him by producing another incorporeal one once more.

“Think of a time when you were happiest,” he suggested.

Merlin sighed and closed her eyes, trying to rack her brain for the perfect memory. She had gone through much, felt a lot, and she was having a hard time trying to think of a memory that actually made her happy.

“You can do it, Merlin.”

His words of encouragement made her smile. Freezing in shock, Merlin wondered if perhaps… _perhaps_.

She searched her brain, trying to conjure her memory with Draco here in the same place, as he traced his finger along the stars of the constellation he was named after.

Facing the sky, Merlin opened her eyes and sought out the constellation Draco. Her gaze shifted on the blond standing opposite her, a handsome smile on his face, and Merlin’s heart thudded so loud she was afraid it would burst out from her chest.

Taking a deep, shaky breath, Merlin outstretched her hand once more, made a spiral motion with her hand while exclaiming, “ _Expecto Patronum_ ”

A blinding white mist shot out from her palm. With a shout, Draco ducked out of the way as the mist grew and grew, finally taking in the form of a great, white dragon. Merlin watched, wide-eyed, as it flapped its mighty wings and circled the two occupants in the vast field.

“Kilgharrah,” Merlin mouthed, eyes wide. Her patronus resembled her dragon friend so much it was frightening.

He was humongous; he almost occupied the vast meadow with his scaly body. The Dragon Patronus landed in front of her and she stretched out her hands to pet him. She expected to feel his cold, slimy scales, having touched Kilgharrah a few times before, but she was surprised at how warm and fuzzy her patronus felt.

Her patronus then disappeared, and the meadow was engulfed in darkness once more.

Beaming brightly, Merlin shifted her gaze to the dumbstruck wizard.

“What the… _what the actual fuck was that?!_ ” Sheer disbelief and awe were thick in Draco’s voice and Merlin unwittingly blushed.

“Umm, my patronus?” she asked.

“The hell it was!” Draco exclaimed, beaming brightly as he strode closer to Merlin. “That was the best one I had ever seen in my life. And a dragon!” He took a sharp intake of breath and shook his head in disbelief. “The casters usually produce non-magical animals. Magical animals as patronuses are _extremely_ rare but who am I kidding, you are the _great_ Merlin herself!”

Merlin chuckled at his wild gesticulation.

“That was one hell of a memory, whatever it was.” Merlin’s cheek reddened deeply once more. “What were you thinking, anyway?”

“Umm, a dragon friend,” she said. She did not exactly lie, but Draco did not need to know the exact details of her memory. When Draco looked at her questioningly, she expounded, “I think my patronus has something to do with how dragons are my kin. We share a special bond. I have this dragon friend named Kilgharrah and he had been giving me wonderful pieces of advice on how to save Arthur and protect his destiny.  I mean, it makes _perfect_ sense. As the last Dragonlady, I am Kilgharrah’s protector, as he is mine.”

She was babbling and hoped against hope Draco would not probe her more on her memory.

“A Dragonlady?”

“Oh, right, I haven’t told you yet,” she said, chuckling nervously at his questioning gaze. “Dragons are proud, wild, _intelligent_ beasts and only Dragonlords and Dragonladies have the ability to tame them.”

Draco’s jaw dropped.

“What?”

“How much more powerful can you be?”

Merlin blushed scarlet and shyly grinned. “I don’t know,” she honestly said.

“This dragon friend of yours, Kilgha-what?”

“Kilgharrah.”

“Right, is he, well, you know, _alive_?” he inquired.

Merlin nodded her head. “I can summon him anytime I want,” she said. His eyes brightened with an idea but Merlin chuckled, “No, not today Draco. For some inexplicable reason, I feel drained.”

“Yeah, the Patronus Charm tends to do that to first timers,” he said.

“Maybe we should head home.”

“Good idea.”

Their journey was uneventful, mindless chatter exchanged between the two.

“Draco?”

“Yeah?”

“Are there dragons in the future?”

Draco’s eyebrows knitted with her question. “Yeah,” he slowly said. “Why do you ask?”

“Oh.”

“Oh?”

“Kilgharrah said he was the last of his kind,” she explained, confused. “I don’t doubt him, really, but I haven’t seen one besides him.”

“Maybe you haven’t discovered the others?” Draco offered. “There are different species, found in different locations.”

Merlin’s eyes lit up with this revelation. “You’ve seen one before?”

“Not just one,” he shot back with a grin.

Her eyes widened. “Oh.”

“Yeah, nasty little beasts, but they’re majestic.”

Merlin nodded her head to concur. “You should meet Kilgharrah,” she said with a smile. “He’ll be happy to hear these from you.”

“Can I?”

“Of course you can,” Merlin replied. “I can summon him sometime so he can meet you. Maybe he can help you with your time travelling predicament and provide the solution to your journey back home.” Her throat ran dry a little with the last words she uttered.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right.”

Merlin looked at Draco and frowned at the indifferent mask he was wearing once more.

* * *

“ _Mer_ lin, convince your _friend_ to be part of the Knights of the Round Table.”

The maidservant rolled her eyes at King Arthur’s whining. Gathering the laundry into her arms, she turned around and shook her head at her king. “Sorry, Arthur, I think you finally spotted a stubborn one,” she said, a small smile gracing her face as she remembered Draco’s adamant refusal of being knighted.

A fortnight already passed, and Arthur was starting to get impatient. He demanded for Draco’s answer yesterday during one of their practice sessions, but the blond politely declined, reasoning he did not deserve to be one. Arthur did not take his rejection lightly and had been pestering Merlin ever since.

“You should have seen him with a sword, Merlin,” the king interjected, exasperated. “Camelot will be in great hands.”

Merlin sighed. “The other knights are wonderful, Arthur,” she reasoned. “They can protect Camelot.”

“With the addition of Draco Malfoy, Camelot will be at its most formidable.”

“Can’t you just let it go?” she asked, quirking one corner of her lips at his offended glare.

“When did you ever deem me as someone who gives up easily?”

Her smile grew. “You are impossible, Arthur Pendragon,” she sighed, shaking her head fondly as memories of their adventures flashed before her mind’s eye. She had truly missed him; Arthur had been such a bully but he was a great friend. Merlin had never felt alive whenever they were out and about Camelot and her neighboring kingdom. With him as a king now, married to the love of his life, Arthur had to step up and rule, reluctantly foregoing the adventures he used to have with her. Merlin did understand, but she _terribly_ missed him, even during his most insufferable days.

“Mer _lin_.”

The maidservant rolled her eyes and fully looked at the king. “Give him some time,” she suggested. “Continue training with him, if you must. But Draco needs to realize himself what greatness he could offer, sire. Give him… give him _time_.”

Arthur deflated and finally wordlessly nodded his head.

* * *

She was jerked awake when her door blasted open.

With heightened senses in the dark, she released a powerful burst of magic through the intruder, but he was quick enough to duck.

“I-it’s me.”

Eyes widening, Merlin shot up from her bed. She shook off the remnants of sleep and quickly padded towards the crouching blond. “Oh blast, Draco,” she cried, mimicking his stance to look him squarely in his eyes. “I’m sorry, but you frightened me!”

He did not say anything, and Merlin detected that something was wrong.

“I had a…” He faltered, swallowing thickly, before continuing, “I had a nightmare.”

Merlin sadly gazed at his troubled face. “Let me get some Sleeping Draught,” she said, standing up from her sitting position. Gaius was gone for the night, having no choice but to stay in the village infirmary, as the outbreak of diarrhea demanded his utmost attention. Thankfully, Merlin knew where he stored his supplies without having to scour all of his cabinets.

“No,” Draco suddenly said, latching onto her right wrist. “They don’t help.”

“Oh,” she said, crouching in front of him once more. “They don’t?”

He forlornly shook his head.

Merlin patiently waited, watching as a myriad of emotions crossed his pale face. His eyes were too wide and shiny, Merlin wondered what he was thinking right now.

“I killed a girl once,” he started, his emotions too deep and raw they seeped coldly into her heart. “She was a muggle and she begged me to spare her.”

He took a deep, shuddering breath, but Merlin did not say anything. She did not know what to say, anyway.

“The Dark Lord is ruthless,” he continued in a pained whisper. “He frowns upon those who give quick deaths. It was too merciful, he said. Lowly people like muggles or… or mudbloods deserve a painful one.”

Merlin tightly squeezed his now trembling hand.

Tears steadily streamed down from his face as he hung his head in pure remorse. “Her screams tore me apart, but I was cowardly to do anything to help her. I…” He choked, drawing his hands to his face. “I don’t deserve to live.”

Her vision blurred as she wrapped her arms around the broken boy.

“I want to die.”

“You can’t. I won’t let you.”

“I want to die.”

* * *

“I like you, Merlin.”

Merlin froze, slowly turning around as she steadily looked Sir Gwaine straight into his eyes. “Gwaine,” she cautiously started, “We’ve talked about this. You’re like a… a _brother_ to me.”

Disappointment clouded his dark eyes. “Still?”

“Still.”

“Too bad,” he quietly said. Merlin hated herself for bringing such emotions on Gwaine’s face. She was always so used to his carefree, loose demeanor it was frightening to note that the knight also had so much seriousness inside him.

“I’m sorry,” she said, not really knowing what to say.

To her surprise, an amused smile appeared on Gwaine’s face. “Gods, Merlin, you really know how to break a heart,” he said, slightly pained, but with that same smile nonetheless. Merlin did not return his smile.

“He is a good lad, you know.”

Knitting her eyebrows in confusion, Merlin asked, “Who?”

“Draco.”

Unwittingly, her cheeks flooded red with embarrassment. “Anyone who sees him knows that, Gwaine,” she said, offering him a weak smile. Mentally, she cursed herself for being so affected just by hearing the blond’s name.

“I don’t really know what you see in him, though,” he cajoled, with the easy, handsome grin on his face again. “ _I_ am a good lad, too. In fact, _I_ am better! Especially with a sword!” He gave her a playful wink. “I can show you how to wield a sword, too, Merlin, if you let me.”

Her jaw dropped at his horrible innuendo. “Gods, Gwaine!” she cried, her face now as red as a rose.

“He’s tough competition, however,” he said, giving her a meaningful look. “A competition I know I am losing by a landslide.”

“I don’t like him that way, Gwaine,” she defended with a frown.

He quirked an eyebrow. “You see him as a brother, too?”

Merlin hesitated.

“I thought so.”

“I don’t like him _that_ way,” she repeated through gritted teeth.

But Gwaine merely looked at her with a sad glint in his eyes. “You can’t even convince yourself, pretty lass,” he said. “Why would I believe you?”

Merlin thickly swallowed. “He won’t like me,” she said, finally voicing out a fear that had been plaguing her for days when she finally surrendered to the fact that the feelings she may harbor for the blond was nowhere near platonic.

“Give yourself some credit, Merlin,” Gwaine said with strong conviction. “You are… you are wonderful and beautiful and amazing and… and how can anyone _not_ like you?”

“He doesn’t like _me_ ,” she corrected then.

“Hmm.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

Gwaine grinned and shook his head. “You are beautiful, but daft.” He playfully ruffled her curly hair despite her dark glare. “Definitely daft.”

* * *

Draco had kept on giving her curious looks but Merlin ignored him completely, eager to finally arrive in the abandoned, vast meadow. Her heart thudded loudly in her chest, excited to finally show him her Dragonlady abilities.

“Sweet Salazar, slow down, woman,” he called, but she merely answered him with a laugh.

They finally arrived in the vast meadow. Merlin turned around and brightly grinned at Draco.

“Gaius will have our heads for ditching him again,” he warned him, although he couldn’t suppress the smile on his face.

“Really, Draco, you’ve known me for months,” she admonished. “Do you honestly think that The Great Merlin herself answers to anyone?”

He widened his eyes. “Oh, wow, I actually quaked in my boots,” he said with mock surprise, placing a hand against his chest as effect.

Merlin giggled and playfully swatted his arm. “Quiet,” she lightly ordered, opening her arms wide. “I’m about to show you something great.”

Draco merely lifted an eyebrow.

The maidservant grinned, then took a deep breath. “ _O drakon, e male so ftengometta tesd'hup'anankes!_.”

At the corner of her eyes, she saw how Draco’s jaw dropped and actually felt triumphant.

As her eyes returned to their normal color, a great flapping of wings filled the cool, night sky. Merlin watched with a wide smile as Kilgharrah made a show of obscuring the moonlight; he always had a habit of making dramatic entrances. She knew he wanted to be extra majestic today, especially since she brought a guest.

Draco faltered back as Kilgharrah finally landed with a mighty thud in front of them.

“Young sorceress, you called for me,” the Dragon said, tilting his head slightly as he curiously peered at the pale blond.

“I brought a friend I wanted you to meet,” Merlin said, silently ushering Draco to move forward. When Draco didn’t budge, she turned around and chuckled. “Come now, don’t be scared.”

He darkly glared at her, his cheeks reddening, before cautiously taking a few steps forward.

“Forgive him, Kilgharrah,” she said cheekily. “He had bad memories regarding dragons.”

If it was possible, his glare darkened.

"He's Draco Malfoy,  Kilgharrah."

"Draco," the dragon uttered, amusement in his eyes as he looked at Merlin.  "I see you found another dragon to tame, Merlin."

Merlin's jaw dropped at his implication whilst Draco coughed noisily beside her. 

Kilgharrah returned his golden eyes on Draco and peered at him curiously. “A sorcerer?”

Draco lifted his pointy chin. “I am,” he steadily said. Behind him, Merlin tried to smother her chuckles with her hand. He actually looked ridiculous

“Interesting,” Kilgharrah said, his golden eyes landing back on Merlin. “A time traveler, too.”

Merlin smiled and nodded her head. The dragon _knew_ everything and she was thankful she did not have to do a lot of explaining every time she sought for his counsel.

“Maybe you know how he can go back?”

Draco’s head whipped around so fast she swore she heard his neck crick. His eyes were wide, yet unreadable as he gazed intently at Merlin. She, on the other hand, tried her very best to not meet his eyes.

Kilgharrah was silent, watching the two magical beings with his wise, old eyes. “Our very earth brought you here with a purpose,” the dragon said, addressing the blond. Draco had no choice but to return his gaze back to him. “It is quite simple on how you can return, young sorcerer. The Court Physician already knew how to bring you back.”

“He does?” Merlin asked in surprise.

The Great Dragon looked at her with an unreadable expression on his face. “The question is; does he want to go back?”

Merlin shifted her gaze at the back of Draco’s head, but he did not turn around.

“I… I don’t know.”

Kilgharrah soon bid his farewell and was long gone, but Draco still would not look at her.

“We should go back,” she quietly said, watching with a sinking heart as his shoulders tensed. Merlin wondered if what she did was a bad thing.

“Why are you so eager to get rid of me?” he stiffly asked, unmistakable anger in his voice. He had now fully looked at Merlin with the darkest glare he could ever muster.

Merlin flinched. “I’m not,” she said, frowning.

“Am I burdening you?”

She gasped, affronted. “Of course not!” she exclaimed. He had no idea how she could never imagine her life without him in it anymore.

Confusion now mingled with his frustration. “Then why do you want me to go home?” he barked, crossing his arms across his chest.

Merlin sighed. Like Arthur, he could throw magnificent fits. “I just… I just thought…”

“Well, you thought wrong, obviously,” he snarled.

Her frown deepened, now growing mad herself with his attitude. “I want to help you, Draco,” was her merely reply.

“By pushing me away?”

“It’s not like that, and you know it.”

“Then explain it to me, _clearly_ , _Mer_ lin, because it bloody hell looks like you want to get rid of me already!” His voice grew steadily louder and Merlin was not having any of it.

“Why are you getting angry with me?”

“I’m not.”

“Yes you are,” she spat through gritted teeth. His glare darkened and he looked away, jaw tightening with suppressed fury. Merlin expelled a huge sigh and tried to calm her frazzled nerves. “I just thought you’d want to finally know how to get back home.”

Draco was silent for minutes before slowly returning his gaze back at her. To her relief, most of his anger was gone. “Why do you always assume I want to go back?” he inquired.

Merlin frowned. “It is your home,” she offered, but he merely shook his head.

“You never even asked me if I want to go back.”

“Then, do _you_ want to go _back_?” Merlin asked, now clearly exasperated. “You have your family and friends waiting for you back home, Draco. I don’t get why you don’t want to return to your world.” She said those words with great difficulty, ignoring the painful clenching of her heart and the possibility that she might not see him in the near future anymore.

“There’s no one waiting for me back in that blasted world, Merlin,” he said with a sigh, sadly shaking his head.

“I don’t believe that,” she retorted. “There is at least someone you miss back home, Draco. Like your… your _mother_.”

“My mother is dead.”

Her eyes widened in shock and guilt. “I… oh blast, I’m sorry,” she said, eyes suddenly shining with tears.

Draco sighed, deflating. “It’s all right,” he assured with a small smile. “You didn’t know.”

Merlin now felt horrible and cursed herself for acting impulsively once more. “I… I’m sorry,” she said with a defeated sigh. “I thought it would lift your spirits if you find out you have a way of going back.”

“Oh Merlin, you really don’t get it, do you?”

She looked at him in confusion. “What?”

“This is _my_ home now,” he said, gesturing wildly around the vast meadows. “ _Camelot_ is my home now.”

Her eyes widened with his declaration. “It is?” Her jaw then dropped when he nodded his head. “W-what? _Why_?”

He gave her a strange look, but his wide smile was unmistakable.

“Well, someone will miss me when I’m gone so that’s why.”

Her cheeks flooded with color. “Oh?”

“Yeah.”

She swore her lips were so wide they started to hurt. “Err, okay,” she said. He matched her grin with that disarming one of his. “Do you… do you want to go back to the castle now?” She blinked, her eyes shining brightly under the moonlight. “Do you want to go home now?”

“Of course.”

* * *

The Day of Samhain was an uneventful day. Merlin, however, could not shake off the odd feeling in her chest.

“What’s wrong?” Draco asked beside her, peering down at her with worry in his eyes.

 _Something_ was always wrong in Samhain. She had to be vigilant.

“Nothing, Draco.”

“You sure?”

“Yes.”

Draco made a show of rolling his eyes. “I don’t really get girls,” he murmured under his breath.

Merlin quirked a smile.

“I’m really fine, Draco, gods,” she said softly, trying not to draw attention to them as King Arthur made his usual speech about this day and their reminiscing of the dead.

“Whatever you say, _Mer_ lin.”

* * *

She _knew_ it. Heavens above, she bloody well _knew_ it. And now that they were hiding in her small house in Ealdor, away from the searching eyes of the Dorochas, Merlin mentally berated herself for being so lax about her intuition. Her intuition was _always_ right. Always and unfailingly.

Before the night of Samhain ended, Merlin felt exactly the same feeling she had when she encountered the Cailleach. To strengthen her foreboding, the magical hag appeared right before her and Merlin… Merlin felt _so_ cold once more.

Gaius speculated it was Morgana’s attempt to wreak havoc in Camelot using the undead again. It was a stupid idea, really, especially because Morgana should have known well by now that as Emrys, Merlin would have done all that she could to close the tear from the underworld and save the kingdom once more. Morgana was apparently getting rusty with her revenge plan, reusing previous ideas when the conclusions would be predictable.

She had spared Arthur _and_ Lancelot from their supposed noble sacrifices by throwing Agravaine in, ridding Morgana from her most trusted ally and the apparent spy for her. She would tear both of them, or any of her friends for that matter, _limb by limb_ , if they tried to rashly think about sacrificing themselves once more.

They could be stupid Gryffindors without even trying.

Now, with the Knights of the Round Table, Arthur, Merlin, and surprisingly Draco travelling to Ealdor, Merlin tried to think of a plan. The boys were already slumbering, whilst Merlin grew restless as she racked her head for any possible solutions to the tear.

 _‘If worse comes to worst,’_ she thought with a small, sad smile, _‘I might do the stupid sacrificing in the end.’_ It was, after all, her destiny to bring Arthur to greatness while he united the kingdoms of Albion for the future generations. Before he could even thwart his _life_ for the betterment of all, Merlin would gladly dive into the tear of the veil, sacrifice herself to the Cailleach, and end it all.

She shivered as the shrill cries of the Dorochas echoed in the night. She made sure to seal each and every corner of her house, protecting all of the occupants with magic, so that the ghouls would not be able to slip through and kill them in their sleep.

“Why are you still awake, child?”

Merlin’s eyes widened a little as she turned around to look at the old, kind face of her mother.

“I can ask you the same thing,” she said, prompting Hunith to smile.

“I had to make sure everybody is comfortable,” was her mother’s reply.

Hunith then proceeded to sit down on the bench beside Merlin. “Your mother worries for you, Merlin,” she said, a knowing look in her eyes. The maidservant sighed and looked away, not liking the way her mother looks right now.

“I’m… I’ll be fine, mother,” she reassured, but there was an underlying fear in her voice.

Hunith released a soft, shuddering breath. “Even when you grew up into a fine young woman, you still believe you can fool your mother,” she chuckled, a small tear slipping down from her eyes.

“Mother…”

“I’m sorry, my love. I did not wish for you to burden such heavy destinies on your shoulder.”

Merlin frowned and held both of Hunith’s hands. “No, mother, it isn’t your fault,” she said, squeezing both of her hands. “The dragon told me it was our very earth that chose me to do this. It isn’t _your_ fault.”

Her mother sighed and gathered Merlin into her arms. “I wanted to protect you from all the things you had been through,” she said. “This is not the future I wanted for you.”

“I know.”

“I love you, Merlin.”

Tears formed at the corner of her eyes. “I love you, too, mother,” she whispered, brushing a kiss at the top of her mother’s hair. “I just… I _have_ to do this. There’s no other choice.”

Pained, Hunith closed her eyes.

“I know.”

* * *

“ARE YOU FUCKING INSANE?!”

Merlin’s eyes widened, head whipping around as she watched a furious Draco running towards her.

“How did you…” A disbelieving groan escaped from her lips. Trust Draco to break away from the sleeping charm she placed upon him, the knights, and Arthur before she ventured to the Isle of the Blessed where the tear was located. “What are you doing here?” she shrieked, fearfully looking at the Dorochas in the sky, circling around, waiting to attack.

“Well, obviously I’m trying to stop you from doing something _stupid_ ,” he roared back, his grey eyes dark and burning with unadulterated anger and fear that gripped Merlin’s heart.

Merlin furiously shook her head and lifted her arms. “Stand back, Draco,” she pleaded, watching the Cailleach advancing toward them at the corner of her eyes. “Please, _please_ don’t make this so difficult. Don’t make me hurt you.”

“The hell I will!” he roared, stomping closer to her. The Dorochas shrieked in unison, and this made Draco falter. Merlin took this opportunity to blast him away with her magic, but she had forgotten the blond was hardened by war. He was quick in drawing out his wand and conjuring a protective shield. Her spell bounced away and hit one of the unsuspecting Dorochas. The others shrieked louder.

“Don’t fucking do it,” he threatened, taking a menacing step forward. “ _Damn it_ , Merlin, I’m warning you.”

A wry smile appeared on Merlin’s face as a tear slipped down from her eye. “I guess I really do belong in Gryffindor,” she said, trying to humor him, but Draco’s face merely hardened with anger. Appeased, Merlin stared at him in plea. “I have to do this, Draco. You know that this is the only way.”

“There is another way and _you_ know it.”

Merlin clenched her hands into fists. She had anticipated this, she really did, but then, she hoped against hope he would not resort to this.

“No, I forbid you.”

“Between you and me, I am _dispensable_ ,” he tightly reasoned out. “Arthur needs you, Merlin. _Camelot_ needs you. You need to be _fucking_ alive to protect them.”

“No, no, it has to be _me_ ,” she cried vehemently. “It can’t be you.”

“Why not?” 

_‘I need you.’_

“It has to be me,” she snarled, outstretching her arm once more to blast him away but Draco was quicker. All her breath was knocked off her as her back painfully collided against one of the pillars in the small isle. She forced herself to stand up, groaning painfully as her lower back contracted in protest, but Merlin had to stop him.

“No, NO!” she cried, watching in horror as Dorochas instantly swarmed Draco, trapping him from getting to the tear. “DRACO!”

She tried to think hard and fast. If she threw herself in the tear, the Cailleach would disappear but the Dorochas would stay. Then, she wouldn’t be able to save Draco at all. And Draco… Draco _needs_ to live no matter what happened tonight.

“I await a protector,” she murmured, an idea suddenly coming into mind. Draco told her the Patronus Charm was designed to protect the caster from harm, but he never explicitly told her from what harm. She just hoped that her Dragon Patronus would not fail her now.

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, remembering the day when Draco told her Camelot was his home now, and warmth instantly flooded her heart. “ _Expecto Patronum_!” she exclaimed, a bright white mist shooting out from her palms. It grew and it grew until it took the form of her patronus. “Please, please protect Draco.”

Merlin watched, mesmerized as the dragon swooped down towards the swarm of Dorochas and opened his mouth. White, bright flames escaped from the dragon’s mouth and engulfed the Dorochas. They screamed shrilly, perhaps with pain and fear, and one by one they disappeared into the air.

Her knees soon gave away as she spied Draco, unconscious on the floor, but his chest was still heaving from the breaths he expelled.

“Emrys.”

Merlin slowly turned to the Cailleach and glared. “What do you want from me?” she harshly asked, anguished by all the deaths the Dorochas caused and the fear they instilled in the kingdom.

“A blood sacrifice,” she simply said. “But it cannot be you. It isn’t your time yet.” Her eyes then landed on the unconscious form of Draco and Merlin snapped.

“Not him,” she spat. “ _Never_ him.”

“He is but a boy.”

Merlin snorted.

“He is dispensable.”

_‘Not to me.’_

“Haven’t you caused enough deaths?” she cried, glaring darkly at the Cailleach. “How many more sacrifices do you want?”

Behind the Cailleach, her Dragon Patronus bared his teeth. Merlin’s eyes widened, surprised that he still hadn’t disappeared.

Before the hag could answer, her patronus suddenly snapped his huge mouth around the Cailleach and threw her into the tear. A sickening cry, louder and shriller than any Dorochas she had ever heard, filled the Isle, and slowly, the tear started to mend itself.

The moment the tear disappeared her patronus vanished, and only she and Draco were left in the dark Isle.

“Draco,” she called, steady tears streaming down on her face. She crawled towards him, ignoring the protests of her back. She had to make sure he was all right.

“Oh Draco, you idiot,” she cried, cradling his cold cheeks between her hands. He was breathing, thank the gods, but he did not look well. Merlin had to take him back to Ealdor to nurse him back to health.

His eyelids fluttered, then opened as his grey eyes settled on her. “The tear…” he croaked, voice hoarse from fatigue. His eyebrows knitted together. “I don’t… I don’t understand.”

“My patronus saved us,” she replied in relief. “You are – You are impossible, Draco Malfoy! I cannot believe you are stupid enough to try to sacrifice yourself for all of us.”

“Salazar, woman, I’m too tired to argue with you,” he whispered, the one corner of his lips lifting into a smirk. “Can’t this wait?”

She laughed through her tears. “I hate you,” she cried, “I hate you, I hate you.” _‘I love you.’_ “You are evil to let me watch you be attacked by those Dorochas. I swear, Draco, if you get your energy back I’ll - ”

Her words died down as his right, cold hand pressed against her wet cheek. “I’m glad you’re alive,” he murmured, and Merlin swore his face was growing closer to her. 

He brushed a soft kiss against her pink lips and fainted once more.

* * *

“Took you long enough.”

He wore a cheeky smile on his face, but Merlin merely swallowed. Her silence prompted him to raise an eyebrow. “Well, I’m sure glad as hell that your patronus worked against the Dorochas,” he started, his steely gaze never leaving her form. “I suspected they were somehow related to the Dementors, the intended target of the charm, so I guess I shouldn’t be surprised.”

Merlin merely pursed her lips and nodded her head.

“Who knew throwing that awful bitch into the tear would end it all, eh? Didn’t she need a blood sacrifice?”

This had confused Merlin, too, seeing that the Cailleach was technically _dead_ and had no blood circulating in her system. Then again, nothing was clear in this world, and Merlin just accepted the fact that Camelot was finally safe from the clutches of the powerful hag.

“Why are you too quiet?” he demanded, frowning.

Merlin cleared her throat, remembering why she visited him in the first place. “Are you well now?”

He looked at her in amusement. “Why are you so far away?” he asked.

Merlin blushed up to the tips of her ears. She tried to quash the memory of his lips against hers but failed miserably. “I’m not _that_ far,” she pointed out, ignoring the fact that she was still standing right in front of the door, ready to bound away if the need arose.

Draco merely lifted a pale eyebrow.

She cleared her throat once more and looked anywhere but him. “Anyway, I’m just checking to see if you can travel back to Camelot already,” she hastily said. “Arthur wanted to come home.”

“I am well now, thank you,” he said. “Your mother was wonderful.”

In spite of herself, Merlin smiled. “She is.”

“You got her eyes.”

Merlin laughed and nodded her head. “Everybody says that,” she said, concurring. She then pointed at her ears. “I got these from my father, though.” She made a face and petulantly tugged at them. “Nasty little things.”

“They’re all right.”

“They’re _big_.”

“They suit you.” She blushed once more as a charming smile graced his face.

Merlin fixed a glare at the amused blond. “Seeing that you can now tease me, I can attest that you _are_ well,” she chided. “Get ready then. Arthur’s growing impatient.”

“Yes, _mother_ ,” he said, earning him a glare from the maidservant.

She proceeded to turn around and leave, but Draco called out for her name. “Yes?”

“Thank you.”

She blinked, confused. “For what?”

“For not letting me die.”

Her eyes widened as a small, grateful smile grew on Draco’s face.

“I told you I won’t let you.”

“Yeah.” The smile never left his face.  "You did. "

* * *

“ _What_?”

Draco gave her an amused smile. “I said I decided to accept Arthur’s offer and be a knight,” he repeated.

Inexplicable happiness bloomed in her chest. “You will be wonderful,” she gushed, her smile wide and blinding. “But… what made you change your mind?”

The blond sighed and lowered himself on the bench beside her. “After the Dorocha fiasco I thought…” He frowned, deep in thought, before continuing. “I was _angry_ with how people were hurt in Camelot and I can’t – I just can’t let that happen anymore.”

Merlin patiently waited, knowing Draco was not done.

“I was a-a coward back in my world,” he continued, remorse in his eyes. “I _failed_ them. Hogwarts was my home but I took part in destroying it.” He looked back at a smiling Merlin. “I can’t let that happen to Camelot, too. I _have_ to protect Camelot and in here I am given a _choice_. I just had to take it.”

“You will be a wonderful knight,” she repeated in reassurance.

Draco looked doubtful. “You really think so?”

“I know so.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> From the firsy moment I saw the Dorochas, I thought they resembled Dementors so I kinda tweaked the Patronus Charm so that it will have an effect on the Dorochas.


	4. Winter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Winter is cold, but their hearts are warm with fuzzy feelings.

The Hall of Ceremonies was cold from the winter wind, but Merlin’s heart was filled with warmth.

“Arise, Sir Draco, Knight of Camelot.”

The audience burst into polite applause as the new Knight of the Round Table rose from the ground, but it was Merlin who clapped the loudest.

Her eyes locked with his and he broke into a wide grin.

Merlin couldn’t help but feel very proud.

* * *

He really did look handsome in that heavy armor. Knighthood suited Draco, no matter how much he protested.

As a new knight, King Arthur demanded an intensive regimen of training for Draco to follow. The blond was determined to be a good knight, bless his soul, but it meant he would spend less time with Merlin.

She did not like it one bit.

In her solitude, Merlin ached to visit the meadow she had come to love. But the grounds were already heavily blanketed by snow; she’d rather not get a cold from lying on the freezinf, wet snow.

“Aren’t you supposed to be attending to the king?”

Merlin scowled and petulantly looked at Gaius. “Ever since Draco got knighted, Arthur was merciless,” she said, followed by a frustrated sigh. “He spends most of his time in the Training Grounds so I don’t really have anything to do.”

The Court Physician gave her an amused smile.

“What?”

“You’ve been whining ever since Draco got knighted, dear child,” Gaius pointed out.

Merlin prettily blushed but frowned. “I don’t whine,” she replied, bordering whiny. Gaius gave her a pointed look she chose to ignore. “I’m bored, Gaius. Give me something to do.”

“You never asked chores from me,” he said, raising an eyebrow.

“I’m bored.”

Gaius sighed and gave her a piece of parchment. “I know the snow is thick so I’m not expecting you to get them all in the same day,” he instructed. “I just need them to be complete by the end of the week.”

“Thanks, Gaius.”

* * *

He kissed her again the first time he took a break from his training. He was tired and sore all over from all the work Arthur made him do, but Merlin was just too happy to finally see him again and launched into his arms.

“You need a bath,” she joked. In truth, he did not really smell that bad at all. In fact, the smell of sweat and steel and grass reminded her of Ealdor. Merlin's heart made an odd somersault at the thought of home. 

“I need a break,” he murmured with a chuckle. “Bloody king works me like a horse.”

“That’s Arthur for you.”

Draco sighed, pulled himself away from her, and looked into her eyes. “I’m glad I was finally able to see you again,” he confessed, making her blush. “I did see you running around, doing errands here and there, but Arthur would have my head if I called out for you.

She released a laugh. "I'm sure he will."

“Anyway, I got to go,” he said, reluctantly prying her arms away from his torso. “I promised I would be back in an hour and you know how Arthur throws monumental fits when the need arises.”

Merlin rolled her eyes. “You’re both really alike, you know,” she said. “It’s uncanny.”

Draco made a face, but did not reply.

“I have to go,” he said once more. Before Merlin could protest for him to stay, he bent down, placed a chaste kiss against her lips, and left her wide-eyed in surprise.

* * *

The third time he kissed her, she was running a fever.

Merlin finally completed Gaius’ chore for her to collect the ingredients he needed by the end of the week, but not without catching a cold. The winds of winter were ruthless at this time of the year and the flu had run rampant all throughout the kingdom. Merlin, despite being the all-power sorceress that she was destined to be, had still fallen victim to this particular virus.

“Look at you,” Draco said, announcing his presence into her bedroom. “You look terrible.”

She mustered a glare despite the pain she felt behind her eyelids. “Gods, thanks, you idiot,” she nasally spat, sniffing in annoyance.

His smile turned fond as he sat down on the small stool beside her bed.

“How are you feeling?”

"Like dying.”

“You’re being melodramatic,” he tutted, but the smile never left his face. “Sweet Salazar, Merlin, you’ve been through a lot of life-threatening adventures before. You’ll live, _trust me_.”

Merlin groaned and shifted on her bed. “Easy for you to say,” she murmured with a frown. “It’s not you who’s running a fever.”

“I already brewed a potion for your flu,” he said, placing a small vial on her bedside table. “Gaius was too busy tending the other village people so I took the liberty to make one for you.”

“Aren’t you busy training?”

“Yes, and?”

She frowned. “You didn’t have to bother,” she said. “I could have just rested for at least a day or two and I will be well.”

“It wasn’t a bother.”

“Draco, Arthur’s breaking your bones apart,” she reprimanded. “You should have just used your time of brewing a potion to rest instead.”

Draco snorted. “Trust Merlin to be mad at my good deed.”

“I’m not mad.”

“Right.”

“Go away, you’re giving me a headache,” she said with a glare.

Draco raised his arms in defeat. “All right, all right, geez, you’re a menace when you’re sick,” he cajoled.

Despite her malaise, Merlin was still able to smack his arm. “Go away.”

The blond chuckled. “Get well soon, Merlin,” he said, brushing away the curls that got stuck on her forehead. He looked thoughtful for a while, before bending down to bestow a kiss on her forehead. “Get well soon.”

Her eyes had gone wide and her cheeks inflamed, fully aware that the sudden heat on her face was not because of her fever.

Draco seemed to understand for he grinned and placed a quick peck on her lips before leaving. Merlin swore her temperature just rose.

* * *

The fourth time they kissed, it was Merlin who initiated it this time. She had had enough with the confusion already.

“We really shouldn’t be outside right now, Merlin,” Draco said with a frown, crossing his arms against his chest to provide himself more warmth.

“Oh quiet,” she interjected. “I miss this place.”

Despite her early apprehensions of going to the vast meadows for some solitude, Merlin finally decided it was stupid for her to hesitate in the first place because she was a _sorceress_. She could conjure heat for herself whilst appreciating the vast meadow and the barren trees. It was just a delight that Draco decided to accompany her this time.

Arthur’s rigorousness had tamed down, especially now that Gwen was on her third trimester of pregnancy. He had worried about his wife constantly, especially when Gwen almost had a miscarriage due to an accident with the stairs in Camelot. Ever since then, he had forbidden Guinevere from travelling around without an escort.

Luckily for Draco, it meant he already was free from Arthur’s trainings. The knights believed Draco already had enough of the trainings. Thrust him into a fight and everybody did not doubt he would emerge the victor.

Draco shivered beside her and Merlin wordlessly thought of a heating spell. His pale cheeks had reddened with warmth and he gave Merlin a small smile of thanks. 

They were silent for a while, basking under the beauty of the winter wonderland, but Merlin’s thoughts were running a hundred miles per hour.

They had shared kisses thrice already, and Merlin was still confused. Gods, she liked Draco a lot, that was for sure. Her cheeks reddened just thinking about that other l-word she had thought about when she believed he was about to die from the Dorochas. She wasn’t sure about _that_ word yet; what was for sure, however, was the fact that the blond had been plaguing her mind for weeks, perhaps for months, now.

She did not know how to broach this particular subject. Merlin never had time for frivolous relationships in the past, especially when she was trying desperately to keep herself and Arthur alive from those who wished them harm. Her days revolved around Arthur and their destines alone and nothing more.

Merlin thought she had a brief… _thing_ with William back in Ealdor. She was quite close to him, having grown up playing games with him in Ealdor, but that was it. She considered him as the older brother she never had, and Will seemed content with that relationship they had.

Gwaine was another story all together, but really, she could not imagine herself becoming more intimate with him.

But with Draco… he made it so _easy_. It had confused her incessantly.

“What are you thinking?”

 _‘You.’_ “Stuff.”

He lifted a pale eyebrow. “About?”

“You ask too many questions, Draco.”

The blond laughed. “I learn from the best,” he said, pointedly looking at her as she scowled.

“If you’re just going to pester me, you can go back,” she said, sticking out her tongue immaturely.

“Very mature, Merlin, I’m at awe.”

Merlin laughed, grabbed a handful of snow, and threw it to his face. He was stunned for a while, eyes wide and jaw slackened, but then, his eyes turned into slits as he tried to grab a handful of snow as payback.

“I just got well from my flu!” she exclaimed in a squeal, raising her arms in defense.

To her relief, the snow fell down from his hand. “That’s not fair,” he pointed out, but she merely gave him a winning smile.

Silence once again settled and Merlin decided to lie on the snow-covered ground. Because of her charm, she was not able to feel the coldness of the snow, but the water still soaked through her clothes.

“ _Impervius_ ,” Draco said, tapping his wand against her dress. When she questioningly looked at him, he said, “I made your clothes waterproof.”

She smiled, realizing that water was not seeping through, and nodded her thanks. “Why do you still use a wand?” she then asked as Draco did the charm on his own clothes and lied down on the ground beside her. “We both know you can already do it without one.”

“Habit,” he said with a casual shrug.

Merlin just nodded her head and faced heavenward. Her eyes easily found the constellation Draco and smiled. “I can actually see now why your constellation is called the dragon, you know.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah,” she said, lifting her finger to trace the stars that made up Draco. “That is the tail, and then the long body, and the head. Pity there’s nothing to make up the wings.” She frowned and turned her head to look at her companion. “Come to think of it, it actually looks more of a snake!”

“Astronomers are weird,” was all he ever said.

She softly laughed. “Do you know the names of the stars?” she asked.

Draco smiled. “Of course,” he said. He tapped his temples and grinned. “You’re talking to the second brightest student in his class.”

“Oh?” Merlin asked with a grin. “Not the first?”

The blond scowled and shook his head. “Although I am an arrogant arse, I do know that nobody can beat the brains of Hermione Granger,” he begrudgingly admitted.

Merlin wondered who this Hermione Granger was as she imagined a petulant Draco for getting second place once more.

“See that star?” Draco then asked, his finger pointed at the one not included in the constellation of the dragon.

Merlin wordlessly nodded her head. 

“That’s Polaris,” he said. “The North Star during my time.” He scrunched his nose, deep in thought, but then sighed. “I’m sorry, I’m not sure if it is the north star during this time, too.”

“The North Star?”

Draco nodded. “It is used for navigation,” he explained. “Whenever you are lost, seek for that star, and it will guide you north.”

“Oh,” Merlin said. Silently, she thought that perhaps, Astronomy might be a nice thing to study about after all.

The blond then pointed at one of the star near the tail of Draco. “That is Thuban, Alpha Draconis,” he continued. “It _used_ to be the north star but something about the Earth’s rotational axis made it farther from the north pole. Thus, Polaris became the north star up until my time.”

Merlin then pointed a finger at the brightest star in the constellation, the one nearer the head of the dragon. “What is that star called then?” she inquired.

Draco gave a warm smile as he looked at Merlin. “Eltanin, Gamma Draconis,” he whispered, voice so tender it brought shivers down her spine. “The brightest star in Draco.”

Merlin slowly turned to gaze into his eyes. She had never seen them so warm and soft and _alight_. She remembered all those days when Draco was imprisoned by his nightmares, his eyes dark and dull and empty. Her heart thudded loudly inside her ribcage because he was beautiful and wonderful and she really liked him.

Without thinking, Merlin tilted her head and kissed him squarely on his lips. She never intended it to be chaste; blast Draco for always leaving with merely a peck, making her yearn for more. This time, she made sure there were more kisses – long, searing ones – to satisfy the ache in her heart.

Her toes curled in delight when he responded with equal fervor and Merlin swore the snow around them were melting with their mingled heat.

Draco released a strangled laugh as he finally pulled away to gulp the air his lungs badly needed. “Sweet Salazar, Merlin,” he said.

Merlin darkly blushed under his intense gaze but she could not back down now. “What are we?” she blurted out.

He arched an eyebrow. “What do you mean?” he asked, amusement on his face.

The maidservant released a deep, frustrated sigh. “You know what I mean.”

“No, I don’t.”

“You’re impossible, you horrible prat.”

“I really like you, Merlin,” Draco then declared, catching her off guard. Merlin’s eyes instantly widened and Draco merely smiled. “As in really _like_ like you.” He chuckled, tucked a stray curl behind her ear, and continued, “Blast you, witch, for plaguing my thoughts all day, every day.”

Merlin was floored. “Oh,” she said, unable to stop a pretty smile from growing. “I… err, I really like you, too, Draco.”

“Then there’s that,” he said with a laugh. “I’m not really sure how the courtship system works here in Ancient Camelot. I mean, _blimey_ , look at me, I’m a bloody knight.” He laughed incredulously and shook his head. “I’m really sure there’s a Knight’s Code somewhere and there was something about courting maidens and how to win their hearts.”

 _‘You already did,’_ a traitorous voice whispered in her ear and she deeply blushed.

“I’m not… I really haven’t had any relationships in the past,” Merlin confessed, but Draco did not seem to mind.

“I’ll be gentle,” he said suggestively with a wink, and she scowled.

“Prat.” She swatted him on the arm.

“But you really like me, right?”

Merlin sighed and rolled her eyes. “Gods forbid, but I really do.”

“Good,” Draco said, sighing in relief. “Now I can kiss you whenever I want.”

To prove his point, he dipped his head down once more and kissed her on her lips.

It was already their fifth kiss, Merlin mentally thought. 

* * *

“So, there _is_ a boy.”

Merlin’s cheeks darkened as she glared at an amused Arthur. “Shut up, clotpole,” she retorted.

Instead of getting offended, Arthur’s eyes widened as she looked at Gwen. “There _is_ a boy,” the king gasped, prompting his heavily pregnant wife to chuckle.

“Yes, love, there is a boy.”

The maidservant groaned and hid her face behind her hands.

She hated her friends sometimes.

* * *

“What’s this?” Merlin asked, looking at the brown package on her hands.

Draco grinned. “Open it,” he urged.

Merlin shot Gaius a look, but the Court Physician merely shrugged.

The maidservant gave Draco a suspicious glance, which he returned with a secretive smile. “Come now, Merlin,” he said. “I’m sure your curiosity is eating you up already.”

Sighing in defeat, Merlin messily tore the brown package away until what was left was a brown, simple box. She gave it a slight shake, and still, she had no idea what it was.

Draco made a huge show of rolling his eyes, prompting her to laugh. “All right, all right,” she said, tearing the lid open. She peered inside and was surprised to see a kerchief with a floral pattern and a book.

The blond grinned as he took the kerchief. “I always see you with those plain, tattered ones,” he said, removing the said clothing from her hair. He then offered his gift and smiled. “Flowers suit you.”

Merlin prettily blushed and shyly accepted the proffered kerchief. “Thank you,” she said, as she tried to tie it around her hair. Merlin had trouble tying it around, as she then questioningly looked at Draco. “Can you - ?”

“Yeah.”

He turned her around and helped her with it. As Draco was busy tying the knot, Merlin shot a glance at Gaius. Her cheeks reddened more as the Court Physician looked at her with a raised, curious eyebrow. They still had not told him what transpired between them in the vast meadows, sans the kissing, of course. Merlin had no idea how Gaius would take the news that his supposed nephew and ward harbored not-so-platonic feelings for each other.

“There, done,” he said, turning her around him once more. He critically looked at the kerchief in her hair and smirked with approval. “Flowers suit you,” he claimed once more.

Merlin then looked at the book inside the box to stop herself from giddily grinning once more. Honestly, the butterflies inside her stomach made her feel like an idiot every time Draco was around.

As she lifted the book outside the box, she heard a loud gasp from Gaius.

“What, _pray tell_ , is that?”

Merlin’s brow knitted in confusion as she frowned at the book. Flipping it over, her eyes widened in mortification as she realized why her mentor looked scandalized.

“ _Draco_ ,” she growled, shooting daggers at his direction. _‘The Dragon Tamer’_ glinted cheekily under the candlelight, the image of the almost naked woman pressed against the almost naked man mocking her of the time when her magic failed her. “You prat.”

Boisterous laughter escaped from the blond’s lips. “Oh, Gaius, Merlin didn’t tell you?” he asked with a mischievous grin. “She is fond of reading books like that.”

If it was more possible, Gaius’ eyebrows disappeared behind his fringes.

“Gaius, don’t listen to him,” she beseeched, utterly mortified and annoyed at the same time. “It’s not what you think.”

Before the Court Physician could say anything, Merlin thrusted it into his hands. Gaius looked highly offended, but sighed and opened the book nonetheless with Merlin’s silent plea.

His eyes skimmed the first page and he lifted an eyebrow. He shot Draco a strange look, and Draco colored slightly by his gaze. Merlin wondered what was written on the first page. He then changed the page and read, clear realization now seen on his face.

“A spell book,” he stated, and Merlin sighed, thanking the gods it was what she thought it should be.

“Yes,” Draco said.

Gaius returned the book to Merlin. “I believe you need to do something about the charm, though,” he pointed out.

Merlin glared at Draco once more as she tapped her finger on the book cover thrice, saying, “ _Mutatio._ ”

The cover changed into a boring book on chores and knitting she remembered, making it look uninteresting and unsuspicious as possible.

She then opened the book on the very first page and read:

_A book of enchantments for an enchanting girl._

“Oh.” Her eyes met Draco’s and she prettily smiled. He returned it with a sheepish one.

Merlin then changed the page and skimmed its contents. As she flipped through the book, she saw spells and incantations she had never read before. She spotted the Patronus and Waterproof Charms, however.

“I wrote down all the spells I learned from Hogwarts since I was eleven,” he explained as she questioningly looked at him. “The spells you use are a mouthful, really, and most of the spells I know can produce your desired effect with just a word or two. It will be handy.”

To her horror, she felt tears pricking at the corner of her eyes. “I… _oh blast_ , I love it, Draco,” she whispered with a teary smile. “It’s _beautiful_.” Nobody had ever given her a gift that moved her like how Draco’s did. Her heart hummed loudly she was afraid it would break free from her chest.

“Why are you crying?” he asked, horrified.

But Merlin merely chuckled and launched herself into his arms. “Thank you,” she whispered, giving him a chaste peck on his cheek. “I _love_ it.” _‘I love you.’_

He rubbed her back for comfort. “My trainings with Arthur had waned, so I can tutor you, if you like,” he offered with slight hesitation. “I can show you how they are pronounced, or the movements you need to do.”

“I’d like that,” she said with a winning smile.

Draco looked into her eyes and smiled warmly. Merlin felt her heart skip a beat, her smile growing larger.

Their spell was broken when Gaius noisily cleared his throat, reminding them of his presence.

Merlin turned into a deep shade of red and stepped away from Draco, while the knight sheepishly smiled.

“Oh, right, I have something for you too, Gaius,” he said, breaking away from Merlin as he retrieved a slightly bigger box from underneath the table. The Court Physician lifted an eyebrow but wordlessly tore the packaging open. The contents of the gift included a new copper cauldron, some new vials, knives, and a chopping board for Gaius’ potions.

“Back in Hogwarts, we were taught that copper cauldrons brew potions the fastest,” Draco offered as an explanation. “It will greatly help you, Gaius, especially on times of outbreaks.”

Merlin had never seen Gaius’ eyes alight so bright before.

“I also managed to put on a self-stirring spell to help you with your wrist.”

“You are too kind, Draco,” Gaius said with a smile.

The knight rubbed the back of his neck in embarrassment. “It’s the least that I can do as thanks for letting me stay and not kicking me out,” he said, his eyes shifting onto Merlin. “Thank you for taking care of me.”

“Forgive me, but I need to ask why you are suddenly giving gifts, lad,” Gaius said.

“Well, it’s Christmas today.”

Both Gaius and Merlin gave him blank looks and he chuckled.

“It’s a modern tradition of gift giving and merriment, really,” he explained. “Celebrating the birth of a savior or something. It’s just an excuse to buy expensive, useless things and give it to people that matter to you.”

“But…” Merlin frowned. “I didn’t get you anything.”

“You didn’t know,” he said with a good-natured shrug. “I don’t really mind.”

Merlin did mind, though.

* * *

“What’s this?”

“Your gift.”

Sir Draco lifted an eyebrow in amusement, but he tore the packaging nonetheless. When he saw the contents inside, he almost broke the glass apart.

“How did you…” He narrowed his eyes in accusation. “You looked into my mind.”

“Just to see the face of your mother, I swear,” Merlin said, hand over her heart.

Weeks before, Draco told her about the moving pictures enclosed in frames that showed your best memories. Such a thing had never been developed at their time yet. Hell, the concept of picture-taking was still such a farfetched thing in Ancient Camelot. But Draco voiced out his sadness he was not able to at least bring a picture of his mother in this world, and Merlin _knew_ it was the perfect gift.

She knew it was crossing the line when she tried to look into Draco’s memories as he slept. She tried to see how a picture looked, how a picture frame was made, and how his mother’s face looked like. Merlin steered clear from Draco’s dark thoughts, afraid of what she could see and betraying the blond’s trust. She believed Draco was starting to become well already; she’d rather not overstep her boundaries and push him beyond saving again.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t look at anything at all,” she apologized, now feeling guilty of what she had done.

Draco looked at her with that indifferent mask of his once more, before finally sighing in defeat. Merlin was relieved his mask was gone. “Don’t do that again without my permission,” he admonished, but his tone lacked menace. Merlin eagerly nodded her head as a promise.

She then watched as Draco looked at the picture once more.

“How did you even do this?” he asked, astonished. “This is advanced magic.”

“Great Merlin, remember?”

“How can I forget?” he asked with a grin.

His expression morphed into tender sadness as he gazed at his mother once more. “I was afraid I was starting to forget her face,” he murmured, smiling when the Narcissa on the picture waved at him. “Thank you for making me remember.”

Merlin wordlessly held his free hand and gave it a squeeze.

“My mother did a lot of wrong things, too, but she loved me,” he whispered with sadness in his eyes. “I hate what evil did to her.”

“She must be really proud of who you are now, Draco,” she offered, smiling gently at the blond.

He chuckled. “She didn’t guess I’d be a knight,” he said.

“And a brilliant one, too.”

Draco looked at her again and gave her a kiss.

“Thank you, Merlin. For everything.”

* * *

His forearms were bare today and Merlin could not keep herself from gazing at his menacing tattoo.

Questions sat at the tip of her tongue, but she held herself back. She had impulsively asked him questions before, and only succeeded in making him mad. He could be real frightful if he wanted to be.

“My eyes are here, you know.”

Her eyes widened at being caught and she slowly met his grey ones. To her utmost surprise ( _and_ relief), there was no mad glint in his eyes. In fact, Draco seemed highly amused at how his tattoo made her distracted.

“Does it bother you?” he shyly asked, covering his tattoo with his right hand. “I can transfigure my tunic into a long-sleeved one.”

“Ye – I mean _no_ ,” she said, horrified with her slip. Draco merely pointedly looked at her and she sighed. “Yes, it does bother me.”

He seemed genuinely understanding as he pulled out his wand, but Merlin latched onto his wand arm and shook her head. “No, don’t… don’t hide it,” she then said, swallowing a lump in her throat. He gazed at her questioningly as she sighed. “It’s just, it’s _part_ of you, Draco. I don’t want you hiding things.”

An unreadable expression crossed his eyes and Merlin wondered if it was good or bad.

“This is the ugly side of me, Merlin,” he said, gesturing at the dark mark. “I don’t want to run around and boast my shame to anyone.”

“Just to me, then,” she reassured with a small smile. “Don’t hide things from me.”

“I don’t know how you can tolerate looking at it,” he said with a frown. “I can’t even look at it myself.”

Merlin’s eyes filled with sadness at the pained look on his face. “Were you forced to take it?” she asked.

Disgust appeared on his face, but Merlin knew it wasn’t directed to her. “No,” he simply spat.

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

“Can I… can I touch it?”

Draco knitted his eyebrows. “Why would you want to touch it?”

“I don’t know.”

He fell silent, conflicted. Finally, he wordlessly held out his left arm for her.

Merlin worriedly peered at Draco’s face, but he was once again hiding behind that indifferent mask of his. “You can tell me no if you don’t want to, Draco,” she offered, worried that she was pushing him away again.

A small crack appeared in his mask as vulnerability shone. “It’s okay.”

Gingerly then, she placed a finger on the mark. Merlin hissed as searing pain shot through her finger, and she pulled away.

“Are you okay?” Draco asked, worried.

“Should it burn when touched?” Merlin asked, slightly glaring at the blinking tattoo.

Draco looked confused. “It’s painful when you touch it?” he asked.

“It’s not normal?”

“No.”

“Oh.”

He frowned as he darkly glared at the offending mark. “I don’t know why it’s hurting you,” he said, still deeply confused. He fell silent once more, and Merlin actually saw the thoughts running through his mind. He then sighed and intently looked at his tattoo once more. “It takes a dark wizard to cast this dark spell.”

Merlin, with a sad smile, nodded her head. She figured it would, seeing that merely looking at it screamed evil.

“Only those who were truly evil survived getting this mark, you know.”

Heavy silence met his claim, and Merlin felt sick in the stomach.

“I had to…” He closed his eyes, face contorted in pain, as he relieved his memories. “There were two muggle-borns and a muggle and…” He thickly swallowed, his Adam’s apple bobbing up and down from his action, before a small, sardonic smile appeared on his face. “Let us just say I had to go through an immense pain for a week before I was able to stand up from my bed.”

“Then why take it?” Merlin asked, horrified of the physical consequences from getting the dark mark.

“Pride,” he whispered, guiltily staring at his hands. “Fear.”

“You didn’t have a choice,” Merlin said, slowly nodding her head.

Draco sighed and shifted his gaze back on Merlin. “My family was known to practice the Dark Arts for centuries, Merlin,” he continued. “I grew up understanding that power makes this world go round, and I had to know how to grab it and manipulate it. My father… he saw that in Vold- _Voldemort_ and blindly followed him ever since. He expected the same from me. He…” His words died down, a pained expression on his face once more.

Merlin held his trembling hand in comfort. “It’s okay, Draco,” she murmured gently. “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.”

The blond sighed and shook his head. “You’ve known this side of me ever since, Merlin, but you did not push me away,” he said with firm conviction. “I… I trust you and I just…” He licked his lips and earnestly looked into Merlin’s eyes. “I need this.”

His eyes tugged the very strings in her heart and she nodded as encouragement for him to continue.

“I was a proud boy,” he then continued after collecting himself. “And I wanted to be just like my father when I grow up. That was why I did not hesitate when he told me I should take the mark, just like he did. Being a Death Eater brought prestige for a fanatical boy like me.”

Merlin pressed the pad of her thumb on his cheek as she wiped away a lone tear away.

“I realized too late that everything Voldemort said, everything my father said, were complete, fucking bullshits and I just… I just wanted to end the misery, Merlin.”

His free hand curled into a tight fist as he miserably looked at Merlin. “I am not good enough,” he whispered, his eyes too bright and shining. “You are _pure_. You are good. I think your magic recognizes the offensive nature of my mark and could not tolerate touching it.”

“Is there a way of removing it, Draco?”

He shook his head.

“I am branded for life.”

* * *

“You and Draco.”

“Oh gods, Gaius,” Merlin said, turning a bright shade of red as she saw the knowing look on the Court Physician’s face.

Gaius sighed and sat down on his bench. “Does your mother know?” he asked, but she merely shook her head. “She should. Hunith worries for you all the time, Merlin.”

“I know,” she said, guiltily nodding her head and making a mental note to write to her mother as soon as possible.

The Court Physician fell silent, still looking at her contemplatively. “Are you sure about this, lass?” he asked, clear worry in the tone of his voice. “He doesn’t belong here.”

Merlin sighed, her forehead connecting softly against the hard table. “He doesn’t want to go home, Gaius,” she revealed. Although she was not looking at the old man, Merlin had known him for years to predict that he was not surprised with her revelation.

“I already found the solution to his time travelling problem.”

The sorceress slowly lifted her head and stared right back at her mentor. Gaius wore an unreadable expression on his face and Merlin did not know what to make of it.

“He doesn’t want to go home,” she said once more, sighing. “Kilgharrah already told him that he knew you already figured out a solution, but he said he did not want to go back.”

“People might need him back there, Merlin,” he pointed out, his greying eyebrows knitting together in deep thought.

A soft, hollow laugh escaped from her lips, remembering their conversation about a Dark Lord and a twisted father. “You have no idea what he had to go through back in his world, Gaius.”

“And you do?”

“I do,” she said with a sad smile. “I don’t… I don’t think I will be able to survive after having gone through everything Draco did. He is starting to become well, Gaius. I can’t...” Tears now formed at the corner of her eyes. “After hearing everything, after knowing what made him be this way, my heart cannot bear the thought of letting him go back to face his battles alone.”

Gaius merely stared, eyes softening as her tears continued.

“We have to help him heal, Gaius,” she beseeched. “ _I_ have to help him.”

The Court Physician then expelled a long sigh and offered her a small smile. “Just make sure to inform your mother about your relationship with the boy,” he reminded. “Hunith needs to know how her daughter is making reckless decisions for herself once more.”

“I have to do this, Gaius.”

He fondly smiled at her. “I know.”

* * *

“Winter makes me sad.”

Draco cracked his eyes open as he shifted his head on her lap to look at her clearly. “Yeah?”

“Yeah,” she replied, absentmindedly combing her hand through his hair.

“Why is that?” he asked, closing his eyes once more with a contented sigh.

“It’s just, everything is so barren and white and cold and…” She released a long, forlorn sigh and frowned. “I don’t know. I just feel sad looking at the state of this vast meadow, reminiscing the days when the trees had leaves and the flowers were blooming.”

“Well, I beg to disagree,” he said, opening his eyes wide open once more. “I think winter is wonderful. I _love_ winter.”

Merlin chuckled. “You really should make up your mind.” When he questioningly looked at her, she continued, “You said you love summer, but then you said you love fall the most. Now, you’re declaring your love for winter, too.”

“No need to get jealous, Merlin, really.”

She rolled her eyes in amused exasperation, prompting him to laugh.

“All right, so I love winter the _least_ , but I love it nonetheless,” he explained. He sat up and the gestured wildly around the meadow. “Look around, Mer _lin_. What can you feel while staring at this beauty?”

“Sadness.”

“ _Peace_ ,” Draco corrected with a disarming smile. She lifted an eyebrow at his declaration, and he continued. “I sure as hell know you are the busiest person in this kingdom since you try your damndest to keep everyone alive from Morgana and magical beasts and Arthur’s royal pratness.”

She laughed, but did not reply at all.

“All this stillness…” Draco took a deep breath, a contented smile growing on his face. “It makes you stop and contemplate about life, too, you know. The world may be chaotic, but it offers peace too, and you just have to appreciate it.”

“I didn’t take you as a romantic,” she pointed out, amused with his words.

“Oh please, I know I’m convincing you to love winter like I do,” he said.

“Prat.”

“I’ll take that as a yes,” he said, grinning like he’d won a tourney.

Merlin sighed and shook her head, deep fondness for this man shining brightly in her eyes. “You can’t convince me to love summer, though,” she pointed out.

“Summer is hard to love,” he concurred with all the seriousness he could muster. “But I thought you, of all people, know that there is good in everything despite how seemingly impossible it is.”

“Yes, well, nobody’s perfect,” she replied.

An unreadable expression appeared in his eyes and Merlin felt the butterflies in her stomach flutter madly.

“Oh, but I beg to differ.”

The weight in his words made her furiously blush, prompting him to widely grin.

“I-I’m not perfect, Draco,” she admonished with a frown.

He grasped her right hand and lightly kissed her knuckles. “For me, you are,” he confessed.

“You’ll be sorely disappointed.”

That disarming grin appeared on his face once more. “I won’t,” he said, now cupping her cheek and fondly brushed the skin above her cheekbones.

“You do realize the pressure you’ve placed on my shoulders, right?” she said, trying to sound annoyed, but failed miserably when his small ministrations made her insides roar with an unquenchable fire.

“ _You_ are perfect,” he said with steadfast conviction. “You can’t tell me otherwise, Merlin.”

If it was more possible, her cheeks grew redder.

Draco leaned closer as her eyes slowly closed in silent patience. As his nose brushed against hers, he whispered, “I’m sorry, Merlin, I lied.”

Merlin opened her eyes in confusion. She pulled away a little, slightly getting crossed-eye from his close proximity.

“What do you mean?”

"Back then, right here in this place, when I told you I like you, you remember that time?”

How could she forget? “Yes.”

“I lied.”

Her heart thudded in alarm, but when Draco saw the fear in her eyes, he chuckled then swooped down. He placed quick kisses on her lips until all that was left was her confusion.

“Gods, gods, no,” he said, mirth in his eyes. “I lied back then because I think… I _knew_ that what I felt for you right there and then at that moment was not merely ‘like’, Merlin.”

All breath seemed to leave her system, lips parting as his words started to make sense.

“You’ve done so much for me,” he said with a fond smile. “It’s dizzying to think how these past months could happen to someone undeserving like me.” He chuckled and shook his head. “I’ve never felt so thankful in my whole life for that stupid potion that fucked up and brought me here in Ancient Camelot instead of killing me once and for all.”

Tears gathered at the corner of her eyes, but they were not of sadness at all.

“I love you, Merlin.”


	5. Spring, Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Draco thought he would be branded for life. Merlin thought otherwise.

The snow had melted as spring came. Together with the change of season was the birth of the Pendragon heir.

“You _what_?”

Merlin might have heard it wrong, but Gwen was smiling at her brightly, little Gilbert slumbering in her arms, and Arthur was looking at her with amusement on his face.

“I said, _Mer_ lin,” Arthur repeated, with obvious exasperation, “that in case something happens to me, or to my wife, I am naming you as the official guardian of my son.”

“But… but _why_?”

“Because I trust you, you idiot,” the King said with a roll of his eyes. “If something happens to us, I want my son to be taken care of by the right person.”

“And it’s me?”

King Arthur groaned. “Must I spell it out for you?” he snarled, now clearly annoyed. “We can also appoint Le - .”

“No!” she exclaimed loudly, startling Gilbert awake. Her cheeks colored as the babe started crying in surprise and Gwen appeased him. “No, no, I’ll be honored.”

Arthur, to her surprise, smiled at her.

“You better do a great job, Merlin,” he warned, but there was fondness in his voice, and Merlin felt her heart swell in happiness.

“I will, Arthur,” she swore. “You know I will.”

* * *

“Have you ever thought of having children?”

Merlin’s eyes almost bulged out from their sockets as she looked at Draco. The blond, languidly stretched on Gaius’ vacant cot, gave her an amused look.

“W-what?”

He laughed. “Relax, Merlin,” he said. “It’s not as if I’m asking you to have children _with_ me.”

This made her ridiculously blush more because _oh sure_ , she did think of having babies with him and Draco did not really need to know that little part. “Ye-yeah,” she sputtered, willing her cheeks to return back to their normal color. Draco looked highly amused and she cursed him for making her feel this way. “I mean, I loved the relationship I had with my mother and I thought I’d love to have that bonding too with my children in the _far_ future.”

She was quite sure Arthur’s destiny of uniting Albion had only just started. Morgana was still out and about and Merlin feared that if she built a family, they would be a target of Morgana’s fury.

“I don’t think I’ll be a great father,” he confessed.

“Yes, you will!” she interjected with a passion without even realizing what she said. Her eyes widened as her claim sank in and sheepishly smiled.

“Yeah?”

She half-heartedly shrugged in reply.

His eyes shown in amusement. “I don’t have the same relationship as you had with your mother,” he then continued. “I’m not… I don’t really know how to become a good parent when I never knew how it felt to have one.”

“Your mother was good,” Merlin said, defending a dead woman who sorely loved his son.

This made him smile. “Yes, she was,” he concurred, eyes softening in sadness as he remembered his mother. “But she was withdrawn. Father would be mad if she coddled me too much, so I always found comfort in the House-Elves.”

“In the what?”

“House-Elves,” Draco repeated. “They’re like servants, but you know, _elves_.”

Merlin frowned. “You let elves work for you?” she asked. She remembered a particular encounter she had with the same species before and swore they were nowhere near pleasant.

“They’re docile creatures, really,” he reassured. “Very friendly and loyal, too.”

“Oh,” she said, imagining little Draco playing with these so-called house-elves. Her daydream Draco then turned into a small tot, who was the spitting image of Draco, but at the same time had blue eyes and too-large ears. Merlin reddened, realizing what she was thinking and scowled. Blast Draco for putting ideas inside her head.

“I think you’ll be a great mother.”

His claim made her blush once more.

“Your future children will be lucky to have you as their mother.”

“ _Our_ ,” she corrected inaudibly, too quickly. 

“What?”

“Nothing.”

* * *

Draco was away for a mission in Mercia and Merlin had never felt so lonely before.

She got so used to having Draco in Camelot it made her feel strange to not feel his presence now. Sure, there had been a time when he was so busy training with Arthur and the other Knights of the Round Table as a newly appointed knight, but at least he _was_ in Camelot. The idea that she would not be able to see him in the Training Grounds, or in any place in Camelot for that matter, made her extremely uncomfortable.

“It’s just three days, Merlin,” Queen Guinevere said with an understanding smile on her face. She shifted Prince Gil in her arms. “He’ll be back soon before you know it.”

Merlin sighed and curled miserably on the plush chair in the royal couple’s room. “How can you bear it?” she asked, her voice slightly muffled by the chair’s armrest. “I know they’re just delivering some things and not travelling for war. But you know, the world is a cruel place and we don’t really know what might happen along the way.”

Gwen laughed, mindlessly rocking her baby back and forth. “When did you become such a pessimist, Merlin?”

“I’m just trying to think of the possible scenarios to ready myself,” the maidservant defended with a frown.

“You worry too much.”

“It’s the first time he left Camelot.”

"Gods, Merlin, it’s _Sir Draco_ ,” Gwen pointed out with an amused smile. “He has proven himself to be a wonderful swordsman. He can take care of himself.”

The young sorceress stretched lazily on the couch and looked over at her friend. “You’re not worried about Arthur at all?” she asked.

“Of course I worry!” she exclaimed, slightly affronted. “He’s the King, for heaven’s sake! Between him and Draco, enemies would feast on my husband’s demise more than the knight, no offense.”

“Good point,” Merlin said.

“I just learned how to not make it too obvious,” Gwen explained with Merlin’s unspoken question. “When the king leaves his throne, the kingdom is at its most vulnerable. As queen, I have to stay strong for my people in case things happen, Merlin.”

The maidservant smiled. It still amazed her how maidservant Guinevere was the Queen Camelot rightfully deserved.

“Besides, you know how recklessly stupid my husband is,” Gwen pointed out. “Draco is in good hands.”

Merlin grinned, completely concurring. “You’re right,” she said with a sigh. “Gods, Gwen, you are so much better at doing this than me.”

“At doing what?”

"At… you know,” Merlin said, lightly blushing, “being romantically involved and all.”

Gwen looked highly amused. “Oh, Merlin. I think you’re doing a brilliant job.”

“Yeah?”

“If my eyes do not deceive me,” Gwen started, “I’d say the knight is completely smitten with you.”

_‘I love you, Merlin.’_

The maidservant furiously blushed, a secret smile growing on her face. She remembered that moment clear as a day, and stupid her froze stupidly on the spot. Draco, not waiting for any reply at all, laughingly pulled her back to Camelot. Merlin never had the chance to bring up this sudden revelation at all because Draco was then called to Mercia.

“Gwen,” Merlin said seriously, “I know you will laugh at me for asking this and all, but I really, _really_ need to know.”

“Go on.”

“How did you know you love Arthur?”

Merlin swore Gwen’s eyes started twinkling.

“You love him.”

“I didn’t say that.”

“Oh gods, you do.” A wide, victorious grin appeared on Queen Guinevere’s face. “Now Arthur owes me five pounds.”

Merlin’s jaw slackened. “You had a bet on our relationship?” she asked, almost shrilly. “Is that even _legal_?”

Gwen waved her hand in dismissal. “It’s a silly game, Merlin,” the queen said, prompting the maidservant to glare. “Besides, it’s amusing to see you dance around Draco and your feelings.” If it was possible, Gwen’s grin widened. “I knew you would be the first one to admit defeat. And by that, I mean, finally confess that your feelings for him run quite deeply.”

She could not help but scowl. “Yes, well, sorry to burst your bubble, but I’d say Arthur won this time,” she snapped, annoyed that her friends were playing games about her relationship with Draco behind her back.

“ _What_?” Gwen exclaimed, startlingly Gilbert awake. “Oh, hush, love, I’m sorry for waking you up.” Gwen rocked her baby until he fell asleep once more.

“He told me he loved me, Gwen,” she whispered, feeling strangely humbled.

“That’s brilliant, Merlin!”

The maidservant smiled shyly and blushed. “It’s just… I’ve never expected for someone as wonderful as Draco to fall in love with someone like me.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Gwen demanded with a frown.

Merlin sighed. “I somehow recall I’m lacking in the beauty part,” she pointed out, prompting Gwen to roll her eyes.

“That’s ridiculous and you know it,” the Queen said vehemently. “And I don’t think Draco is too shallow for fickle things such as beauty.”

This made Merlin smile. “I never thought I’d be discussing my woes on love with the queen,” she confessed.

“What are you going to do about it then? Have you told him you love him, too?”

“I don’t” – Gwen narrowed her eyes – “I mean… I haven’t got the chance, you know. He’s in _Mercia_.”

“Then once he comes back, don’t even think of hesitating!”

Merlin made a face. “I don’t know…”

Gwen’s glare darkened.

“All right, all right,” Merlin said with a chuckle. “Gods, Queenship did change you, Guinevere.”

Merlin knew if Queen Guinevere weren't holding Prince Gilbert right now, Gwen would have thrown a huge pillow her way. This thought made her smirk, reckoning that the queen was somehow picking up Arthur's habits. But then, she caught herself smirking, something that Draco was so fond of doing, prompting her to widen her eyes.

Gods, she really loves him.

* * *

A Patrolling Knight told them someone got injured in King Arthur’s band of knights due to an unexpected altercation with vengeful smugglers and mercenaries on their way back. That person was still unidentified for the knight merely saw them from a far, and Merlin was worried sick. Even Guinevere started showing signs of worry despite what she had told Merlin three days ago.

They estimated that the returning knights would be back by nightfall. Merlin was restless, cursing the sun that was still innocently sitting in the clear, blue sky. She could not wait for nightfall.

Gaius had already prepared for the possible worst. To distract Merlin from worry, he appointed her to collect the necessary bandages and ointments for wounds ranging from small, superficial ones to large, horrifying ones that needed immediate attention. Merlin prayed that Draco’s wound would fall on the former.

The maidservant spent the remaining hours sitting stiffly on the steps in front of the castle, her eyes never leaving the gates.

She had worried herself for Arthur’s wellbeing countless times before. The King was not exactly accident-free, and trouble seemed so fond of him. Merlin was somehow hardened by Arthur’s constant injuries and almost near-death experiences but this did not prepare her for the possible fact that it was Draco this time. Her usual rational brain was a jumbled mess and Merlin swore to the heavens above she did not know what to do.

“You should get back inside.”

“In a minute,” Merlin reassured Gwen, although both she and the queen knew the maidservant had no plans of leaving.

To her surprise, Queen Guinevere sat down beside her and mimicked her stance. Merlin looked at her friend at the corner of her eyes and saw the deep worry in her.

“They’ll be all right,” she whispered, trying to convince both her and Gwen.

The queen did not answer and merely stared at the gates.

Merlin knew they looked ridiculous - two women waiting restlessly for the love of their lives to come back unscathed. Some nobles were already shooting them disapproving looks, especially at the queen, but blast them and their judging stares. They had no idea how it felt like to be worried sick for a person that was most likely mortally wounded.

The sun soon was slowly making its descent and Merlin never felt so happy to see the moon up above. She choked back a sob, spying Draco’s constellation up in the sky, and prayed to anyone that could hear her that he was all right.

 _‘I haven’t even told him I love him,’_ she tearfully thought, bunching the material of her dress to keep her emotions at bay. It would do her no good if she suddenly released bursts of magic due to her distress.

She and Gwen were then jerked in surprise as the great rumbling of the citadel gates announced Arthur and his knights’ arrival. Merlin quickly scrambled onto her feet and helped Guinevere up, too. The castle doors were now fully opened and the sounds of pattering hooves echoed in the suddenly silent courtyard.

It was Arthur she saw first and Merlin heard Gwen’s monumental sigh of relief upon seeing that the King was relatively unscathed, save from a small scratch on his face.

“He’ll live,” Merlin murmured, prompting Gwen to chuckle as she dashed towards her king, leaving propriety and etiquette out of the window. The council would have a fit, but Merlin knew Gwen was just relieved to see that King Arthur was alive, yet again.

The king caught her easily in his arms and the royal couple was soon lost in their little world.

Merlin waited with bated breath as the knights soon flittered inside. Her eyes frantically scanned the small group, noting with alarm how some had nasty bruises on their cheeks and some long cuts that disappeared underneath their armors.

Finally, Merlin saw the familiar blond hair and grey eyes. Draco brought the rear, and as soon as he stepped through, the castle gates were closed.

Merlin’s eyes had widened, noting that it was _Draco_ that looked the worst amongst them all. A makeshift bandage was slung around his neck, nursing an incessantly bleeding left arm. Blood was already soaking through and the paleness on Draco’s face would confirm that he had relatively lost a lot of blood. He sported a black ring of bruise around his right eye, too, and he had a busted lip.

The maidservant trembled, reckoning he did not look good at all.

“Draco…” she called, her voice barely above a whisper. But then, his eyes instantly settled on hers and he gave her a reassuring smile.

Merlin blindly jumped down from the stairs, ignoring the sudden burst of pain up through her left leg from a bad landing. She reached Draco in lightning speed he was driven to look at her with amusement.

“Blimey, Merlin,” he said, a hint of humor in his voice.

“W-what happened to you?” she gushed out, her eyes eerily large and round.

Draco made a face. “I take it I look the nastiest of the lot, eh?” he cajoled, trying to make light of the situation but Merlin would not allow it.

“You’re _bleeding_ ,” she hissed through gritted teeth. “A lot.”

His eyes softened as he gingerly grasped her hand with his uninjured hand. “I’m okay, Merlin,” he said with a reassuring smile. “Sweet Salazar, no need to look at me like I’m dying.”

 _‘But you could have,’_ a voice whispered against her ear and Merlin trembled once more.

“Come on, let’s take you to Gaius,” she then said, quickly turning around and pulling him inside to hide from him a few wayward tears that escaped from her eyes. Merlin mentally kicked herself for overreacting, then mentally kicked the knight who warned them beforehand and making her worried sick for the worst.

Thankfully, nobody stopped them as Merlin navigated him towards the Court Physician’s bedroom. She never let go of his hand, earning some curious looks from some of the servants and nobles alike. Merlin did not have time for their ridiculous decorum.

“I’ve had worst, Merlin,” he reassured.

She tightened her grip. “That’s not helping me at all,” she snapped, voice unnaturally high and shrilly.

Draco gave a strong tug, prompting her to stop in her tracks. “Gods, Merlin, I’m really okay,” he said. Merlin still refused to look at him. “One fucking bandit almost offed Arthur and thank the gods I had the sense to protect him. He was a pretty nasty one, I guess, and did not leave without a fight. Hence, the broken and bleeding arm.”

Merlin closed her eyes. “That was stupid of you,” she admonished, still refusing to look at him.

“It was bloody _brave_ of me,” he said, his scowl heard clearly in his voice. “Bloody Gryffindor of myself and – can you please just look at me?”

The maidservant shakily sighed and slowly turned around to look at Draco. Still, she refused to meet his eyes.

Draco sighed and let go of her hand, using his now free hand to grasp her chin. He tilted her head until she had no choice but to connect with his grey pools.

“It is my duty to protect the king and you know it,” he said, that small, handsome smile on his face again.

“You _idiot_ ,” she reprimanded, trying her best not to cry.

“I learn from the best,” he joked. She thought it was unfair he could still look disarming when he was pale and sickly.

Merlin choked back a sob and launched herself into his arms, careful not to press too hard to hurt him. “Idiot, I was so worried,” she whispered.

“I’m still alive and kicking,” he pointed out.

All she answered was a tighter embrace.

“You do realize we’ll always find ourselves in this position, yes?” he asked. When Merlin did not answer, he continued, “I somehow believe our roles would be reversed more, you know, especially because you have this stupid destiny obliging you to stupidly protect the king.”

“I hate my life,” Merlin murmured, prompting him to chuckle.

“So, I really want to engage in this drama and shit, but I think I’ve lost too much blood to stay upright in a few more minutes. Besides, my arm hurts like hell.”

Merlin gasped, remembering that Draco was injured, and proceeded to drag him until they were inside Gaius’ room. The Court Physician immediately tended to Draco, giving him a potion to alleviate the pain and to replenish the blood.

“ _Brackium Emendo,_ ” Draco said, pointing his wand at his broken arm. A sickening sound of cracking bones resounded in the whole room. “Mother of…” Even Gaius looked sickly with the sound.

Draco took deep breaths through his nose until color finally returned to his face. He slung a new, clean bandage around his arm once more. “They knew I got a broken arm,” he said, answering Merlin’s unspoken gaze. “It would be too suspicious if they found out it is healed the very next day.”

“You should rest,” Gaius said. “I can tell Arthur to give you a few days off to recuperate.”

The blond frowned. “I am well, Gaius,” he said, but the Court Physician was not having any of it.

As Gaius left them to seek for Arthur and heal the other injured knights, Merlin sat down beside Draco on his cot.

“Are you really all right?” she asked, worried.

“I’m as good as new, Merlin,” he said with a grin.

Merlin sighed and worriedly grasped his uninjured hand.

"You gave me quite a fright.”

“I know.”

The sorceress blinked back her tears as she looked at Draco. “I love you, Draco,” she suddenly blurted out.

His eyes widened in surprise, but he did not say anything back.

“I just… I thought,” she said, lightly blushing. “We’re not exactly the most accident-free people here in Camelot, Draco. This whole fiasco proves my claim. I…” She steadily met his gaze and gave him a small, sad smile. “I will hate myself forever if I never told you I love you and you have – .” She could not bear the thought of him gone, much less complete her sentence.

“I won’t leave you, Eltanin.”

Merlin’s eyes widened. “What did you just call me?”

Draco mirrored her expression, but this time with red cheeks. “Did I say that aloud?”

She nodded her head. “Isn’t that…?”

He sheepishly smiled. “Yeah.”

Merlin felt like her heart would burst free from her chest.

“Oh.”

“I’m sorry, I won’t - ”

“Why?”

Draco blinked. “What?”

“Why did you call me that?”

His cheeks reddened, but his gaze turned fond.

“Because,” he said, “in my constellation, you are the brightest star.”

* * *

“What are you looking at?”

“Draco.”

Arthur knitted his eyebrows. “What?”

Merlin bit down a smile as she turned to her king. “Draco,” she repeated once more, knowing that it only made the king more confused.

“I don’t see him anywhere, _Mer_ lin,” he replied, clearly annoyed.

Merlin sighed as she lifted her finger and pointed at the constellation of the blond she loved. “It’s the constellation,” she explained, tracing her fingers through the stars that made up the dragon. Her heart skipped a bit as she lingered at Gamma Draconis, remembering how Draco called her that once.

“A what?”

“Never mind.”

King Arthur looked at her strangely as he placed his heavy armor and sword on top of her awaiting arms. “The knight made you strange,” he said with a frown.

Merlin rolled her eyes.

“I’m not strange,” she interjected.

He merely raised an eyebrow as he turned around and unbuckled the saddle from his horse. “You do know that if he messed up, the other knights and I won’t let this pass, right?”

Merlin’s eyes widened. “Was that a threat?”

Even though he did not turn around, Merlin could see how the king reddened.

“Are you worried about me, Arthur?” she asked sweetly, secretly flattered that the king worried for her heart.

“Shut up, idiot.”

* * *

“So, you and Draco?”

Merlin froze and slowly turned around, a cautious look on her face as she beheld Gwaine. She was just about to leave the armory, having placed Arthur’s belongings, when the said knight suddenly cornered her inside.

Sir Gwaine had a strange look on his face as he waited for Merlin’s answer.

Sighing, she knew it was pointless to beat around the bush. “Yes.”

His eyes flickered for a bit, and Merlin _swore_ it was of sadness, but Gwaine’s face morphed into his usual carefree expression.

“I knew it.”

“Gwaine…”

A wide grin stretched on his face. “If he hurts you, you know what I’d do,” he lightly said, though his tone was thick with warning.

She offered him a small smile of her own. “Not if I punch him first.”

He boisterously laughed and playfully ruffled her hair. “You are one of a kind, Merlin,” he earnestly said. “Sir Draco is lucky to have you.”

Merlin swallowed a lump in her throat. “Are we… are we okay?”

"Yeah,” he said, too quickly, but a pointed look from Merlin made him sadly smile. “We will be.”

Merlin hoped he was right.

* * *

It gave her a surprise that Hunith visited, but Merlin already had this inkling her mother would brave the roads and travel to Camelot after Merlin finally told her about her relationship with Draco.

Thankfully, the blond was away for the whole day for another errand from Arthur. Merlin could already feel her mortification if Hunith interrogated Draco and his intentions for her daughter. After all, she was not growing any younger and Hunith already wanted grandchildren.

Gaius was gracious enough to give them some space, but Merlin knew he did not want to be with them as they talked about Merlin’s eventful love life.

“Mother,” Merlin said, cheeks already reddening as Hunith merely looked at her daughter happily.

“He is a fine choice, Merlin,” her mother reassured. “Very handsome, too.”

“This is embarrassing, mother,” she groaned, hiding her red face behind her hands. Never in her whole life did she imagine she would be put in this place. All Merlin knew was her magic and adventures and saving King Arthur’s life and to finally be in this position, she was at a loss.

"Does he know?" she then asked, her voice laced with worry.

In spite of herself, Merlin smiled and nodded her head. "He does," she reassured, "and... well, we're still together. Besides" - a conspiratorial smile bloomed on her face - "we're not exactly that different, mother."

Hunith looked confused for a while, trying to digest what Merlin told her, when her eyes suddenly widened in surprise and understanding. "Oh," she merely said, the smile on her face now reaching her eyes. Merlin smiled at the obvious happiness, remembering when Draco once told her she got her mother's eyes. They were the pretty blue shade, and Merlin was eternally grateful she inherited them from her mother.

"I am happy for you, my love," Hunith said, drawing her into her arms. "The things you had to go through in the past..." Her mother's arms tightened around her. "I wish both of you happiness."

"Thank you," the daughter replied, her eyes already slightly dewy from sentiments.

Hunith then gazed straight into Merlin's eyes, a look of warning on her face. "Your... _arrangements_ are not exactly proper, Merlin," her mother said, serious. "But I trust you and I know Gaius will keep an eye on the both of you."

Merlin's eyes widened in horror at Hunith's words. "Mother!" she gasped.

The older of the two suddenly grinned. "So, when will I have a grandchild?"

" _Mother_."

* * *

“You had an eventful week.”

Merlin looked at Draco in surprise.

“I heard it from Leon, who heard it from Gwaine, who heard it from Arthur, who heard it from Gwen,” he narrated with a wide grin.

The sorceress rolled her eyes. “That rat,” she grumbled, thinking of giving Gwen an earful, blast her title.

“I was sorry I wasn’t here to meet your mother,” he whispered, sliding down on the bench beside Merlin. Gaius was already slumbering on his cot so they had to speak softly.

Merlin scowled. “It was a good thing, trust me,” she said, prompting him to grin.

“I’m sure she liked the fact you are with a devilishly handsome knight.”

“Your resemblance with Arthur is really uncanny, you know.”

“I’d take that as a compliment,” he grinned. “So what did you talk about with your mother?”

Her cheeks colored. “I’d rather you not know,” she murmured, remembering the laughter that escaped from her mother’s mouth at the expense of her daughter’s embarrassment.

“I know things here have some propriety and decorum laws, which I think are complete bull,” he said with seriousness. “And I know society deems it improper for us to be living under the same roof, much less under the same _room_ with only Gaius to keep us apart, but I hope your mother is not worried I’d do… _inappropriate_ things to you without permission, no matter how much I want to, really.”

Her eyes widened at his implication, making his grin widen.

“I… err… _gods_ , Draco.”

Boisterous laughter escaped from his mouth, jerking Gaius awake, prompting him to angrily shoo them out of his room.

* * *

“Draco.”

Draco was surprised, about to go to bed, but Merlin had to tell him. She had researched and researched for days, and now that Gaius was away, spending another night in the infirmary in the village, she knew she could not contain this information to herself any further.

“What is it, Merlin?” he asked, pure curiosity in his eyes.

Merlin hesitated. Although nothing was sure, the hope she felt upon reading was too immense to be ignored. She just hoped that in case it did not work, Draco would not be too crushed to revert back to his original self. “I… should really have told you,” she started.

“Uh oh, that doesn’t sound good.”

“Hush,” she said, lightly smiling as he threw one of his dashing smirks at her direction. Merlin then took a deep breath, before continuing, “Ever since you told me about your… _mark_ ” – she gave his hidden left forearm a glance – “I have been researching ways on how to permanently remove it.”

He froze, his eyes widening. “It’s… it’s impossible to remove, Merlin,” he said, a frown gradually growing on his face. “It’s permanent.”

The sorceress sighed. “I know, I know,” she said, “but my instincts told me that there _is_ a way. I needed to know for sure that it will stay permanent and I just can’t stay put.”

To her disappointment, the indifferent mask of his slipped into place. Merlin had actually quite forgotten how it looked like.

“I-I’m sorry, I should have told - ”

“What did you find out?”

Merlin blinked.

“I’m sure you wouldn’t be bothering me late at night if you do not bear any good news,” he pointed out. Merlin swore she could detect nervousness in his voice.

“Nothing’s for sure,” she slowly started, slightly hesitating. “But… someone once told me of a crystal cave.” Her memory briefly brought her to Taliesin. “He said that magic was born there and I tried to research about it from some of Gaius’, _well_ , obscure books.”

Merlin nervously wrung her wrist as Draco continued to look at her indifferently.

“The Old Religion spoke of this place with utmost reverence,” she continued. “They said that magic in this cave is in its purest, most powerful form. And I thought… what if it can undo any magic, no matter how powerful it was?” She swallowed and nervously smiled at Draco. “You said it takes a dark, powerful wizard to give that wicked mark but… I don’t think your Voldemort stands a chance against the Old Religion and the very source of the magic that courses through our veins.”

Draco merely stared at her, and Merlin had no idea what he was feeling. She wondered if she did a good thing, or if Draco would hate her for instilling a hope that wasn’t even confirmed yet.

“I… err… I came across a spell already and if I just practice - ”

Her words died as Draco suddenly shot up from his cot. In three, big strides he reached Merlin and desperately crushed his lips against hers.

“Eltanin, Eltanin,” he murmured in between his searing kisses and Merlin could not quell her tears anymore.

He pulled away as their lungs screamed to be filled. His eyes were bright and shining from suppressed tears and Merlin breathed a sigh of relief upon seeing that his mask had slipped, replaced by a wide grin on his face.

“You’re not mad?” she nervously asked.

“Why would I be mad?” he asked, pulling her close as he nuzzled his nose against her neck.

Merlin could not hide the shiver his ministrations made her feel. Against her neck, she felt Draco grin. “It’s not… well, I’m not sure it will work,” she confessed. “I thought you’d be mad for giving you false hope.”

“It was the best news I’d ever received, Merlin,” he said, pulling away to fondly look down at her.

“What if it doesn’t work?”

His smile faltered bit. “We’ll cross over that bridge when we come to it,” he reassured. His full-blown smile came back as he fondly looked down at Merlin. “Gods, I can’t believe you did that.”

She gave him a fond smile of her own. “I’d do anything for you, Draco,” she whispered earnestly.

An unreadable flicker grew ablaze in his grey eyes as he swooped down and kissed Merlin once more. This time, they were soft and sweet and Merlin swore she was growing breathless with every movement of his mouth.

Draco suddenly released a strangled groan as he pulled away. His eyes were dark with passion and an emotion Merlin had never seen before. She could feel that uncomfortable tugging in her navel again and she swallowed.

“Merlin, I swear, you have to get back to your room,” he whispered huskily, dipping his head as he trailed kisses on her neck. Her body alit with fire and she gasped, his lips brushing a particularly sensitive spot just above her collarbone. “I don’t trust myself enough to hold back this time.”

She bit back a moan as his lips brushed against that spot once more. All rational thoughts seemed to leave Merlin all together as she murmured in reply, “Then don’t.”

He paused in his trails, quickly looking back at her. “What?”

“Don’t,” she whispered in repeat, cheeks flaring. “Don’t hold back.”

His eyes darkened as his grip tightened around her. “I am not kidding, Merlin,” he warned.

“So am I.”

“Are you sure?”

“Gods, Draco,” she said with a laugh, shakily grasping his warm hand and tugging him towards her bedroom.

She closed her bedroom behind her and she saw Draco wordlessly flick his wand at it. Merlin heard a click and then watched Draco placing his wand on her bedside table.

“I’m giving you another full minute to think about your decisions, Merlin,” he said with ridiculous seriousness in his eyes. “I don’t want you to think I’m taking advantage of you, or pressuring you to do things you are not comfortable with.”

Merlin sighed but did not respond. Instead, she closed the remaining space between her and Draco and gave him a kiss.

He was experienced, that much she deduced.

“I… I have never…”

“I know,” he said, slipping her heavy dress down onto the floor whilst trailing kisses on her shoulder blade. “I’ll be gentle.”

Merlin nodded, successfully tugging his tunic off his head, and let her wandering eyes appreciate his pale, toned body. She gingerly traced the nasty scar on his collarbone and he shivered with her touch. “What happened to this?” she asked.

“My father was not pleased with me on that day,” was his mere reply.

Her eyes then travelled onto his bare left forearm. The ink was stark against his pale skin, seemingly out-of-place and Merlin desperately prayed to all those who could hear her that her plan would work.

She reached out for his dark mark but Draco latched onto to her wrist.

“You’ll get burned,” he whispered.

Merlin gave him a meaningful look, his grip soon slackening. She then proceeded to reach out for his mark once more, touching all of it with her small, shaking hand, and the sensation of burning engulfed most of her arm. She bit back a groan of pain, knowing Draco had stiffened under her touch.

“I love you,” she whispered, her dewy eyes connecting with his grey ones. A lump lodged in her throat as she slowly lifted his left forearm and placed a soft kiss against his mark. “I love you,” she whispered once more, ignoring the pain the mark elicited against her lips.

She cursed his father, the dark lord, and the fate that he was thrusted into. He did not deserve to live the life he used to have back in his past world. But of course, Merlin knew how Destiny could be steadfast with her decision and Merlin fervently thanked her Draco found his way in Camelot instead, in her awaiting arms, promising redemption.

Merlin returned her gaze back onto Draco. A myriad of emotions swirled in his grey eyes as he gingerly pulled Merlin close to kiss her once more.

“Eltanin,” he huskily whispered, removing her remaining clothing, fully exposing Merlin to himself. His eyes roamed all over and Merlin suddenly felt a little unconscious, trying to shield her body from his piercing gaze but he held both of her arms. “Gods, you are so beautiful.”

He did not wait for Merlin to reply for he kissed her once more and led her to her bed.

His hands brushed against her breasts, simultaneously placing kisses on her neck. Merlin released a moan, squirming slightly underneath him as that uncomfortable feeling on her navel grew and grew. She could feel his hardness against her hips and Merlin’s body ached with want.

Suddenly, Draco slipped his fingers inside her and Merlin swore stars exploded in front of her eyes. Her moaned grew louder as his fingers grew frantic, his thumb now rubbing the spot that made her pant like crazy.

“Oh… oh gods,” she moaned, clawing his back, his mouth now capturing one of her nipples. He nipped and tugged and Merlin was slowly losing control.

She was near, and Draco knew it. She moaned in disappointment as all of his ministrations stopped. Through half-lidded, lustful eyes, Merlin watched Draco finally remove his breeches and bared all of himself to her. She felt her cheeks redden, both with embarrassment and ridiculous fascination. She had never seen a naked man in her whole life before.

“Like what you see?” he huskily asked with that handsome smirk of his. Her navel gave another uncomfortable tug.

Draco drew her legs wide as he positioned himself in front of her. Slowly then, without breaking his gaze with her dark, wanting eyes, he slipped inside. Merlin gasped, sharp pain clouding her vision, with Draco thrusting as gently as he could.

She clenched her teeth, the pain now ebbing fully as unadulterated pleasure surged through her body. Her moans grew louder; his thrusting grew frantic. Merlin locked her legs around his hips and Draco swore loudly, pulling her closer to him so that he could fully fill her inside.

Merlin’s eyes grew wide, her pleasure escalating and escalating. Draco rubbed his thumb on her spot again a with one, two, three strokes, Merlin released a shout as pure, _wonderful_ bliss electrified her wholly. Her back arched, her bare chest flushing fully against Draco, and tried desperately to muffle her loud moans of pleasure but failed in the end.

Draco soon got his own release, his moan almost matching Merlin’s, until they both collapsed on her bed in a tangle of sweaty legs and crumpled sheets.

The sorceress felt spent but so utterly contented. Draco lazily draped an arm around her waist and pulled her flush against him, burying his nose against her neck as he expelled a soft, contented sigh.

“I love you, Eltanin,” he fondly whispered. Merlin prettily blushed; his new term of endearment for her never failed to make her giddy inside.

Merlin pulled his face to look him squarely in his eyes. “I love you,” she replied, memorizing his face as it brightened with her words.

“Gods, I don’t deserve you,” he said, clearly exasperated, as he tucked a stray curl against her large ear.

“Nobody deserves The Great Merlin,” she teased, placing a quick kiss on his jaw as he chuckled. “But I love you, so you have no choice but to accept it.”

“You are too good for me, Merlin,” he warned, but she was having none of it.

“I love _you_ ,” she insisted, his eyes softening with the feelings he returned.

“I am not good.”

“I love _you_.”

“I am broken in so many places.”

“I love _you_.”

Draco sighed. “I love you too.”

Merlin smiled. “That’s better.”

* * *

Draco was silent all throughout the journey, but it was understandable. Merlin kept shooting him nervous glances, but his indifferent mask was back on his face. It was frustrating to see that he was hiding his feelings from her. He did not need to show it, however. Merlin already had enough idea to know how Draco was feeling right now.

When she asked Arthur to excuse Draco from his training session for the day, Arthur was suspicious. Even the other knights mercilessly teased them, but Merlin ignored their words despite her embarrassment. She had finally mastered the spell and the movement to try to remove the Dark Mark and she knew Draco wanted to know if it worked as soon as possible.

They already passed the Valley of the Fallen Kings. Merlin could already spot the Crystal Cave. The ethereal glow from its opening was unmistakable.

She shivered, the air already thick with raw magic. Beside her, Draco tensed.

“You feel it, too?” she softly asked.

Draco gave her a sideway glance and wordlessly nodded.

As they drew nearer, Merlin’s heart thudded louder and louder. She had spent nights mastering the spell, yes, but she could not shake the fear of failing Draco. She fervently prayed to the Old Religion, to whoever could hear her now, to make this theory of hers work and finally set Draco free.

They dismounted from their horses a few meters away. Their walk towards the Crystal Cave was tensed and slow. Merlin had to stop herself from grabbing Draco in fear that he would bound away and refuse to step foot in this place ever again.

“Are you ready?” she whispered.

Again, he merely nodded. 

Merlin took a deep breath and stepped inside the glowing entrance. She could feel Draco’s presence behind her, but she did not turn around. She tried her very hardest not to stare too hard at the crystals in fear of what the future might bring. She had enough problems to face in the present. The future could wait.

She stopped walking once they were in the middle of the cave. Slowly, she turned around to face Draco. Their eyes instantly connected and Merlin could finally see the pure, unadulterated nervousness and fear shining through his impenetrable mask.

“Hold out your left arm,” she instructed, and Draco stiffly complied. His Dark Mark looked darker and starker, the skull’s beady eyes once more blinking in Merlin’s direction. Her skin still crawled every time she looked at it. She could already anticipate the burning sensation if she touched it.

 _‘Come on now, Merlin,’_ a voice cajoled and gingerly, Merlin steadied his arm with her left hand. Her right hand then slowly pressed against the offending mark. Searing pain shot through her arm and Merlin had to grit her teeth to hold back a scream. She had this inkling the dark magic inside Draco felt that it was about to be vanquished.

Draco’s eyes never left her face. Merlin gave him a small, comforting smile, which he did not return.

“I love you, no matter what,” she whispered.

She looked at the mark once more. Then, after taking a deep breath, she said, “ _Dimnesse béo geleoren. Alétan sé sáwol ahreddan. Áclænsae sáwol ond béo clæ edníwan_ **[1]**.”

Her eyes turned into a blinding shade of gold as a white, bright mist engulfed Draco’s forearm. He loudly gasped, but Merlin was not sure if it was because of surprise or pain.

She intently watched the white mist, trying to see if it had removed Draco’s mark. Merlin could feel Draco’s tension from her grip, but she did not dare look away from the mist.

Her eyes widened as the white mist slowly turned into grey until it was an eerie shade of black. She flinched, a figure of a mask forming from the mist as it released a loud deafening cry, before it slowly turned into pure white once more then completely dissipating into the air.

With bated breath, she looked at his left forearm and almost cried with joy upon seeing that it was unmarred once more.

“I-I can’t believe it actually worked.”

Merlin shifted her eyes to Draco, who now was unashamedly crying because of the freedom he had always wanted.

She threw her arms around him in happiness and relief. “It worked,” she cried, a huge grin stretched widely on her face.

He cradled her face and pressed kisses all over her face, murmurs of gratefulness and awe and love whispered reverently.

Draco had not let go off her as they journeyed back to Camelot. Some of the knights they passed curiously looked at their glowing faces, hands tightly clasped together as they walked into the castle. But all their stares were ignored.

“Thank you, Eltanin...  _Merlin._ "

His demeanor had completely changed. Merlin reminisced back to the Draco who first came to Camelot and reckoned somehow, this blond, magnificent knight had changed. With the mark of evil, his mark of cowardice, completely gone, Draco finally could start anew. And Merlin quietly, unwaveringly, promised she would be beside him no matter what.

“I’d do anything for you, Draco.”

* * *

**_FIN_ **

* * *

**[1] _Dimnesse béo geleoren. Alétan sé sáwol ahreddan. Áclænsae sáwol ond béo clæ edníwan -_ Darkness, be gone. Let the soul break free. Cleanse his spirit and be pure once more. **  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the kudos, dearies. I hope to read more Draco/Merlin in the future!


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